Liar's Roulette
by Yanagi-Sama
Summary: Whose face will be pointed as a Liar? Only the wheel of roulette can tell who it is, nonetheless can you name your bet? YuuNoaMika (AU) full summary inside
1. Hidden Lavender

Title: Liar's Roulette

Pairing: Yuuichirou X Shinoa X Mikaela

Summary: Who is the liar? Certainly everyone could lie, maybe somebody always telling lies, probably nobody couldn't tell a lie. The story revolves around to a young girl whose existance has been hidden by the higher ups. Every chapters will be in different point of view from the people around her that wants something to change about her as well as for their selve's.

Notes: This will be different from the fics that I've written in here, most of them are one shots and this time I've decided to write more than one shots. So, this will be series and I hope you'll like it and make a review. Don't worry, I'll continue this if everyone like it base on the reader :))

Chapter 1: Hidden Lavender

[ I hope you're not like the moon who is going to leave when the day comes. ]

Everyone is a liar, that is for sure. You may not see them because they are covering in white lies. You will never see them, they are deceiving, they are fake, they are cheaters and they are good in tricks. That's how I see to everyone around me.

They hide my existence ever since I was born. Mother always punish me and hit me if I show myself to others, even the maids may saw me. In this attic, I grow up watching the outside through this small window, the unchanging scenery outside is still the same nothing is new.

I learned to read and count when Mahiru comes here, she visits me here secretly without Mother knowing it. She usually comes here when she is upset and bored, maybe I'm just her past time.

She said she cares for me, she said she loves me but she can't prove it. Maybe the reason why she's coming here for me not to feel alone but I know in other words she's pitying at me. I don't hate her nor like her. I always see her as Mahiru as always. The smiles she shows me, her happy expression, her laughing sweet voice. I cannot tell if all of them is true. I don't know anything from her.

Ms. Yayoi is the daughter of the head maid of the mansion, she said to me one time when she bring me food that Lady Mahiru, yes, she called her lady, that everyone inside and outside of the house, Lady Mahiru is adored by everyone, she is smart, beautiful, talented, friendly, sociable and respected by everyone. But I don't see any of them when she is with me. Maybe I'm just too blind to see them all to her. Our world is different, I see different things and she see different things. One thing I wanted to know why she teach me all the knowledge she knew.

I'm just eight years old at that time and went along to her since I don't do anything. In this empty attic only the pile of old dresses and curtains and furnitures with dust, she is the only one who could ring them alive with her soft angelic voice.

Ms. Yayoi Endo is the second person I usually see, she was forbid to talk to me. The only reason why she comes here is to bring me a food for one week supply most of them were bread, cookies and canned foods and for the laundry. I don't worry about when I want to go to toilet, there is a small bathroom in this attic with faucet and bucket for a bath. She sometimes talk to me about the weather and that's all. I only eat real food when Mahiru is in the mood to bring me one, or the mansion is having a party. Birthdays and special holidays doesn't matter to me, I just wonder why would everyone celebrates it.

I never tried to step outside, I was troumatized by Mother's punishment. When I was nine, that was the time Mahiru got really sad, she was introduced to someone to be her fiencee. She was really not happy about it, she already love someone whom she wants to marry. At that time I never understand her but she said I don't need to so I never try. She keeps on talking to the one she loves. I think his name is Guren. I only heard his name whenever Mahiru mention him.

I discover from Mahiru that his famliy was once a branch family to the Hiiragi family but cut out when they misunderstood each other. And Mahiru is sad that she is not allowed to see him. The Hiiragi family cut all their ties to Ichinose and made rivals to their selve's in bussiness. I don't care any of them, I'm not interested to their world.

Mahiru is being Mahiru, who don't follow rules and orders just like now, visiting me in this attic. She secretly meets with Guren and told me everything when they went in dates, eating dinner outside, watching movies and whatever couples do.

I could feel to my sense's that she was coming up here or Ms. Yayoi, but this time my nerves tells me that its not one of them who is coming up here. I hid myself behind the old divider. He open the door slowly and scan his sorroundings, he came in, maybe he felt my pressence. He has an ivory hair and calm eyes. He walks to the center and observed something, maybe he is looking for something. I step back and strip myself in an old lamp shade, I tried to look up and I saw him in my front. Widened eyes and shock face. I stood up and run away to him, I hid myself inside of an old chest box.

"Hey.'' As I heard his footsteps coming. "What are you doing? Get out from there.''

"No, you're not supposed to see me! No one supposed to see me!'' I screamed inside, fearing that if Mother will find out about this she will surely punish me. I don't like bending my kness in salt while she hits my back and my hands is in the air. And worst is she forcely put me inside of drum with water in push me down then pulled me up for air then push me down again then repeated it for hours, I don't remember at all.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'm just wondering why would Mahiru comes here secretly. I wont tell anyone, I promise. Just get out of there, its suffocating to watch you locking yourself in there. And its dark.'' I pushed the chest cover up and saw him so very closed.

"I used to be in the dark and I'm not afraid!'' And I shut down the cover and shove myself in the chest, the chest size is big enough for me to fit in here. I heard him sigh and leaned in this chest.

"I'm just really not expecting to find a child in here, I was only curious why would Mahiru secretly comes in this place. I thought she's keeping her man in here, but I was wrong. But now I'm wondering why does a young lady was living herself in this attic?'' He unknowingly hit the spot, that is also I'm wondering about. From what I've understand mother hates my existence. I didn't answer him, even myself don't understand it too.

I could still feel his pressence, and he was really silent. Then in a few minutes, he starts to talk again.

"You know what, when I was your age my own family sold me to the Hiiragi Family. I went to many struggles living in here, competiting to anyone if I was worthy to become a Hiiragi. Then last year, I just discover I was one of the candidate to become Mahiru's fiencee. I felt like betray when I met her, my own family, her and the Hiiragi Family.'' He seems tired and sad while I heard him saying that, I want to see his expression. So, I peek at the edge of the cover of the chest, what I only meet is his back. Feeling something moves in his back, he turned around and I meet his eyes.

"I wont tell anyone about this, even Mahiru. I'll be your ally besides I hate everyone in this mansion. So, what is your name? By the way, I'm Shinya.'' And he smiled in front of me, a smile that is different from Mahiru or from Ms. Yayoi. I don't know if its real or not, but I can see in his eyes that he is not pitying in me looks like I was watching myself in the mirror in his eyes. I decided to trust him when I saw my reflection in front of me.

"There's no doubt that you are Mahiru's younger sister. When I saw you I thought of a young Mahiru in the pictures, she looks like you, your face and hair. But Mahiru is Mahiru and Shinoa is Shinoa. And there will be no difference.'' And he smiled again just like a pierrot always do, he said he is my step brother that soon to be my brother-in-law.

He always come here every afternoon, bringing me a proper lunch when he discover what I eat is not a proper balance diet he decided to bring me a real lunch secretly without knowing to everyone then after that he goes to school. Like Mahiru he talks about school, what was happening outside. Unlike to her, he usually talks about places he wants to go. If possible he will take me out of this place and search for the end of the rainbow.

He is always smiling, unlike to Mahiru, he never show any expression beside his smiling face. Mahiru will pout if she never get something she wants, she will cry if she is sad, she will cursed if she is mad. But Shinya never do any of that, always and always his smiling face. There's nothing I can do, he is calmed by nature. I never understand him.

Shinya left to me his game boy, while Mahiru purposely left her brush or any hair ornamental, I just set them aside but the next time she comes she will forgot about it. I always stared in the space that's I always do, thinking when will be the time will come that I'm allowed to go out. Shinya wander about if I can go out in here, he said he wants me to release in this prison but the status he have, he don't have any power to do it. He said I was the same with him, and he promised me that he will do anything when he and Mahiru get married. But I don't believe in him. Mahiru loves someone else, she doesn't want to marry him.

Atleast he said to me that he wants me to go out in here, but Mahiru... she never said anything, though I'm not really expecting about it. Maybe she just need someone to listen to her about her thoughts, about her complaints, about her happy moments. And I only do is to listen to her.

Watching outside from this small window, I could heard feint loud music from afar. I wonder what it is, I want to see it but I can't. Something flash through my mind when Shinya said to me about the secret passage of this mansion that even the maids don't know about it.

"If you are just extra careful that no one see's you then you'll never be in trouble.'' Is the only advice he told me. Should I go out and catch a glimpse of it, then go back immediately? My heart starts to pound loudly. If mother will find out she will punish me. But only just a glimpse. This kind of dilemma is not really a good idea, why would I bother to go outside if I'm not allowed to? But the other half of me tells me something might change. So, yes only just a glimpse and I'll go back. I made up my mind.

Opening the door, I go down the stairs then at the end there is another door, twisting the knob its not lock. I open it slowly, I peek through the door there's no one and I opened it fully then went out. I shut the door silently and followed Shinya's direction to the secret passage.

Red carpet on the floor, beautiful chandelier's in the high ceiling and wall flowers on the wall. The secret passage leads me to a beautiful garden, I could heard the music loudly from here. I'm on the outside now but I want to go where the loud music is. Scanning my sorroundings, there are many beautiful flowers that I don't know the names of it. Seeing the trees perfectly align in the tall walls. Maybe I could climb it, I tried to climb it with my small body and bare foot. I reach a branch that leads to the other side of the wall. I walked slowly, looking down the street there was still no one. I jump down and the impact that I met the ground hurts me but didn't made any wounds. I could feel my bones were crush down, but I stood up perfectly fine and followed the music woobly.

It brings me to a place full of people, different face and different expression. Some ladies where dancing in the street wearing beautiful colors of their costumes then the gentle men made the loud music with their big instruments. I was really amazed knowing that this could be wonderful outside of the mansion.

My eyes caught the display of the fountain that flows the water continuesly, my feet brought me aimlessly to the fountain. A statue of a little child holding a pot where the water flows down, he was smiling genuinely looking down the water around him.

"Hey!'' I was halted to my amazement when someone shouts, alarming if someone from the mansion knew me might see me here. I look to the source of the voice. He runs to the direction where I was and stops in front of me panting. He has a blond curly hair.

"You must be the new child in the orphange that everyone talks about.'' He said as he looked straight in my eyes, eyes of ocean is staring at me. His eyes is different from Mahiru and Shinya.

"My name is Mikaela, and Mika is my nick name. And you?'' He offer his hand for shake hands and I absent-mindly take it. His hands were warm and his eyes is full of innocence about the truth of this world, and he is taller than me.

"Shinoa.'' I silently said.

"What a very beautiful name! Hey, Shinoa are you excited to meet your new family? Don't worry everyone in the orphanage love each other as family, so you wont be lonely. Smile Shinoa!'' He cheerfully said to me. Smile? But how? I don't know. I just looked at him unsure. His smiling face is different from Shinya and Mahiru. So very bright and radiant.

"Oh, I know! So you wont be sad there's a karneval in the park and they'll be going to another city next week and I don't want to miss them. So let's go together!'' As he held my hand to lead the way and starts to run but I was stopped when I step on a pebble, he stops too looking at me then look down at my feet seeing that I don't wear anything to my feet.

"Where are your shoes?'' He asked and I shook my head that I don't have any.

"That's not good. I know! Mr. Saito gave me a money to bought you a welcomed gift, how about we will buy a new shoes for you?'' He is still holding my hand and without waiting my answer he leads me to a store of shoes, opening the store's door the bell rings signalling that a customer came in. A lady in brown uniform welcomed us.

"What can we do for young man and young lady?'' She smiled to us and I can tell that she's faking it.

"A new pair of shoes for my friend's size, please!'' Mika answered her cheerfully and the lady looked at me and smiled.

"Oh, for your sweet heart. Follow me.'' And she beckoned the way to a section of shoes were my size can fit. She pick something that match to my old dress that once Mahiru wore it when she was at my age. The color is resembling to my hair, same with the red ribbon that beautifully decorated at the center of the shoes.

"How about this? Its cute and cheap.'' She suggested and hand over the shoes to Mika and he bend down to fit in my feet. He looked up in me grinning.

"Perfectly fit!'' And he stood up facing the lady. "Ma'am we will take it.''

"Great! Follow me in the counter and take off the shoes first.'' And she wink to us and I immediately remove the shoes in my feet. After we purchased the shoes we went back to the fountain. And again, he bent down assisting me to wear the shoes. What would be his reaction that I'm not the new child he talks about, I feel really shamed at myself deceiving someone like him who could smile from his heart innocently.

"It really looks perfect in you, but you have to smile to make you more beautiful.'' As he stood up in front of me and I imitated the child statue in the fountain, smiling in front of him. I don't know what or why did I do that, nobody taught me how to smile. But I did try my best to smile for him. I'm so very happy at the same time I'm so very sad too. How come someone like him made all this happen for me? Buying me a new pair of shoes without knowing who I am really and told me to smile to make me more beautiful.

He pinch my cheeks gently and he smiled in front of me too and said; ''See, I told you. You look more beautiful when you are smiling.'' And I hold his hand in my cheeks, feeling his warmth as I closed my eyes. What was this feelings are called for?

He grasped my hand, and he bring me to the crowd were people dancing with their partners. And he looked at me and grinned. The last thing I knew, he was holding my one hand and his other hand is in my back and my other hand is in his arm. He sway to every direction where his feet may bring him, then he twirl me around in his small arms that I perfectly fitted. It was so magical that I could remember how Mahiru dance in front of me when Guren asked for a dance to her, she impersonate the last moment when she told me that. I could remember her happy face, dreaming the dance that she wish that time would never stop with them.

Waltz music is playing, different faces of people with their smiling face as they cherish this moment, but one thing I would never forget about it. A boy named Mikaela, heartily smiling in front of me as he dance with me in to the crowd of adults were dancing with their partners.

Just like Mahiru, I wish for time would never stop for us. Everything happened so fast that only my eyes could see the time moves slowly to us. A hand that pulled us away to our connecting hands, and I was pushed down to the concrete ground. When I looked up, I found Mother in front of me. She was so very mad, her angry face could skin me alive. She raised her hand holding the closed fan and hit me in the face.

"What are you doing here!'' She raised her voice too that everyone in the crowd stopped dancing as the music stops.

"You're not supposed to be here! You disgraceful stupid child!'' As she non-stop hitting me with her fan.

"Madam! Please stop!'' Mika stands in front, covering me from her hitting fan facing Mother.

"Go away brat! Don't butt in!'' I saw it, she harshly push him to the side to out him in her way. Mother pulled my hair up for me to stand up, she starts slapping me with her fan while saying how immoral am I for leaving my room, for not following her orders not to leave the attic, how my existence is wrong.

Then she was suddenly stopped,when I tried to look up I found Shinya grabbing Mother's hand.

"Please Step Mother, don't make scandal here.'' He lowly said that only us could heard it.

"Who are you telling me what to do?! You can't even make Mahiru fall in love to you!'' She raised her voice, Mother always raise her voice when she is angry. I couldn't see Shinya's expression because his back is facing me, I look to the side to see Mika standing. He is worried at the same time confused of what just had happened, he wants to do something but he don't know what to do.

My eyes become watery as our eyes met, I want to apologize to him for not telling him the truth that I'm not the new kid in the orphanage. I don't even know what is an orphange is, his eyes looks like being betrayed and I want to say sorry. I walk to where he stands but an arm encircling in my waist pulled me up to carry in the shoulder. I reach my hand to him while calling his name, my sight became blurry and wet calling his name aloud.

But he stood frozen in there, his figure is getting smaller as they get me away to the crowd ─ to him. My hoarse voice is calling his name, in a few seconds he starts running in our direction calling my name loudly as he tried to reach my hand. But one of Mother's servant stops him, he struggled to get through them. I saw Shinya in the background doing nothing, but his fist is curled in ball, his expression is different from what I see. Our eyes meets but he is the one who look away.

"Shinoa!'' Mika calls me once again, running towards me but he was caught again by one of the servant. "Wait for me! I'm going to take you away to them! Shinoa! Shinoa!'' And I was locked to the car, I looked at him not wanting to be apart from him and the car starts to drive away, seeing him to the distance, he was screaming at my name and his tears were streaming down. And I could see my reflection in the car's closed window. Tears were flowing down from my eyes as I cried loudly in the car, I don't care if the servants is getting annoyed at me in the car, I want to apologize to Mika properly before we never see each other.

At that time I realize why people tell lies to others. Just to make feel their selve's of what they've called happiness. At that moment I knew he already know that I'm lying to him, but why would he said to me that he will take me away. What does it mean? He should be mad at me that's what I'm expecting for, but why? Why is it somewhere inside of my heart, I held to his words.


	2. Pierrot's Smile

Title: Liar's Roulette

Pairing: Yuu X Shinoa X Mika

Aim: to produce more mikayuunoa fics in this section, and also for the love of this three bae's that I'm addicting to. XD

Notes: no, I'm not abandoning this one and sorry for the long update x3 everything just get hectic in here, you know like school, enternet connection and my life is a little mess. Hahaha xD

Chapter 2: Pierrot's Smile

[ Life is beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up. ]

God may shower to me his blessing as a talented, genius and a handsome face guy, but my life is totally the opposite. My own mother betray me, my father choose to live with his another woman and my fienceé loves another man. I was exposed to the harsh truth when I was young and my only weapon is my smiling face.

As far as I could remember, I was sent to a military school dormitory to become one of the Hiiragi dogs, my own mother sold me when she was really heart broken from my bastard father who leave us to choose his woman. She said she can't bear to see my face that keeps on reminding her of father. In military school I learn everything, competiting to everyone, reaching the higher top. The official notice my talent and my face, they decided with their own selve's I should become a Hiiragi. With that they even put me on hard training and mission for me to pass the quality of becoming Hiiragi. And its worth it, they say.

Turning 15, that's were I become one of them in the higher ups, the Hiiragi's. That's when the time I met Mahiru, the only daughter in the family. She became my fienceé to combine our gene to make another smart and good looking Hiiragi in the family. That is also the time I discover that Mahiru is like the two sides of a coin. She was cheerful and elegant in front of everyone but quickly changes her expression when its only the two of us. She already loved someone whom she wants to marry and its not me. I felt irratated at the same time sad at myself. There's nothing I can do, I came to her life so very late and last. With my trade mark smile I showed it to her, telling her I don't mind but the truth it really bothers me.

In the eyes of everyone there's no problem when it come to us, everyone thought we we're happy being together, we do what actually couple's do in public. But the truth its just a show. She said that I should go along with her to deceive everyone and everyone was fooled out, even myself. I take my interest on her, she was mysterious and beautiful. Her sweet voice is like a goddess, her pretty face is like a blooming flower, truly beautiful. That's why I feel pity at myself that I couldn't take her eyes off to someone she loves.

After that year I was transfered where Mahiru and any other rich students studied. That's where I met Guren, he's

also a transferee at that time. Of course, I give him my punch the moment I saw him on the school gate first day of school. It didn't trouble me at that time, because seriously, everyone in this school respects a Hiiragi no matter how foolish and stupid what they do. That's why Seishirou is very full of air in his small mind. Mahiru didn't say anything but I know she's mad. I became friends with Guren because were on the same section, he rarely speaks and said he don't have any intension of making friends in here. But we all know he is not the honest guy and say the opposite. Hahaha

But I know, through his poker face, he wants to be with Mahiru, he may hard to read but I know what he is thinking. Guren is a good guy, he shows his kindness through his action without saying anything. He is the current heir of their family after his father passed away not months ago. Mahiru loves him and I know why even if she wont explain it to me, reading people is one of my talent when I was in the military school and I think that is one of the reason why Mahiru hate me. Especially my smiling face. I vowed to myself ever since I became a Hiiragi that I wont show any emotion to anyone, especially Mahiru. I don't care if they will annoyed, irratated or even hate me because of my unreadable smile.

Indeed Mahiru is mysterious, everyone arounds her wants to know how she thinks through things, how did she handle everything gracefully. Everyone is curious to her, even me. And one of my curiousity to her meets me a little child who is the total exact opposite of her. I secretly followed her to the south wing of the mansion even the maids who is rarely seen in that place. I wonder what she's doing in there, she enter the last door in the last corridor and I waited for her to come out. After several hours she came out and went back to the main hall, and I enter inside the door where she came out after a moment. A stairs that leads the attic, I followed up and another door I opened.

Scattering papers on the floor, and a sketch of a certain person I knew in the papers could be seen of it. Different angles and genuine smiling face. Mahiru. When I was about to pick it up a crushing noise could be heard, like a falling display on the floor. Checking what was the cause of the noise I walked to where it came from, what did I see is a little girl stumbled on an old lamp shade. She exactly look like the little version of Mahiru I saw on the pictures but I can see through her eyes there is something different about her. I reach my hand to help her stand up but she got up on her own and ran away and went inside of an old big treasure chest. I followed her and called her to come out but she screamed inside saying she's not supposed to be seen by anyone. I don't know what to do, seeing her locking inside in a closed-space made me remind of the training and punishment at the military school. I don't want to see something like that again, so I carefully choose my words for her to convince to come out in there. Its suffocating and dark.

"I used to be in the dark and I'm not afraid!'' I was astonished by her words. She must be brave for not being afraid of the dark compare to me , when I was in her age I was really a coward. Come on Shinya! You're 16 and you were defeated by a child? I escaped sigh breath, sitting down the wooden floor as I leaned on the chest.

I explained to her how I found this place and what's Mahiru doing in here. I waited for her to come out but looks like she wont, after a several minutes pass by the silence feels like nostalgia. Its been a while like this for the first time that's been really quiet, like there's no nagging, ordering and fake smiling around me. I started to talk to the air or to the certain someone about how miserable my life is and how I hated everyone in the Hiiragi Mansion. I feel something moves in my back so I turned around and met her. Her eyes is full of empitiness, a shallow of colorless and I smiled in front of her; a smile that finally meeting someone for the first time.

"I wont tell anyone about this, even Mahiru. I'll be your ally I promise.''

I assured her gently, with that she came out of the chest. And I discover from her that she is not allowed to go out and be seen by everyone. She lives alone in this old attic. All alone. I tried to invite her to come out with me but she rather be prison in here than punishing by her Mother, my Step Mother. She is Mahiru's little sister and the youngest of the Hiiragi Family. Why would this family hides a royal blood on their own? I wanted to do something about this, I wanted to do something about her but with the place I am now I'm the same with her.

Knowing what she eat is not a proper meal, I decided to bring her real lunch food every afternoon without seeing by everyone. Atleast its something I can do for her. And I find out that there is a secret passage to the small garden that connects to the corridor to the south wing and I used that way going to Shinoa without be seen by everyone, even Mahiru. Mahiru is a sharp person, she easily notice if you do something at her back. Being me incapable for not showing my intention in front of her by showing my lovable smiling face.

If Mahiru is the sun, then lil' Shinoa is the moon. She barely put an expression on her face. I want to see her smile like any kid on the street could smile from their hearts, whenever I see Shinoa in front of me having some random conversation I could see my eight year old me of her. I don't want her to be like me.

Empty.

I want to change her, but of course its something I cannot force her. If she wants to change, it will always starts from her self. I want her to have a little courage in herself by stepping outside even if the price is high to pay, I want her to break out from her prisonment. Though all my promise's to her are just a merely words, I don't know if she believes in me when I said to her that one day I'll take her out with me and search for the end of the rainbow. And with that I gave to her the direction of the secret passage.

I'm with Mahiru attending the *Celestial Festival organise by higher ups family in industry. We we're walking everywhere in a crowd of people who are enjoying the festival with their friends and families and later she will sneak in Guren's office to go out with him. Yep, he is one of the organizer in these events rivaling to the Hiiragi's to attract more customer in their shops. Suddenly Mahiru walks ahead of me, naturally when we are in public she walks beside me. But right now as I followed her walkimg to a fountain, I was stopped when I saw a familiar silhoutte.

Shinoa was with the other kid, he was holding her hand then they walk to other direction. I looked to Mahiru and she was about to follow them but I interupt her.

"Mahiru? Is there a problem?'' Pretending that I didn't know what was really happening. She looked at me then she look back in the fountain, she looks kind of a pale. I looked back to the fountain.

"Did you see something?'' I asked her silently as I looked where Shinoa and that kid went off.

"No, must be my imagination.'' And she went back to our direction where we walked earlier, she really look very troubled. I followed her.

"Mahiru? Do you want to stop somewhere? Are you alright?'' I stopped my paces, and she stopped walking five steps ahead of me. She shakes her head as she face me with her cheery smile.

"Guren must be waiting for me!'' And she went closer to me, grabbing my wrist to follow her lead the way.

We went to Guren's shop but he wasn't in there. Looking for a busy person is hard to catch. We also went to his office, then to many stalls still no sign of Guren. Guren must be hiding in these mob of people. As we walk aimlessly everywhere my thoughts landed on Shinoa. Is that really Shinoa? She was outside and the good thing is she made friends but the problem is… her facial expression is still the same. But the other kid seems cheerful, I think its gonna be fine. And now I pray to my heart that I wish something wont happen bad.

Looking to my companion, she's really silent. And it looks like our destination is going to the Hyakuya Orphanage, where Guren's family is the sponsor why the orphanage still manage to get through of their hardships.

"Why are you here?'' He asked irratedly and I showed to him my smile.

"Don't be like that Guren, we have been searching for you everywhere.'' I said.

"Yeah! I want to spend time with you!'' Mahiru adds. He faced-palm.

"Listen, I'm busy and I have no time. ─Hey! Is everything is ready? We will be leaving.'' He face his back to us.

"Yes sir!'' The kids answer him. "Uhmm… Mika is still not here.'' Said one of the kids.

"Don't worry about Mika, him and Akane were already ahead to buy a welcome gift for the new family member.'' Man in his mid-thirties answered.

"Okay, Mika and Akane can join us there when we arrive.'' And they leave without saying anything to us. Mahiru is pouting and we followed them.

We arrive at the central plaza, seems like this will be the public dance hall for waltzing and the kids starts to play with their instruments. Later the hall is filled with couples dancing to the melody while Guren is busy talking with any staffs in the central plaza. I look to Mahiru, she seems bored and I offer my hand to ask a dance with her but she just slapped my hand.

"I'm only dancing with Guren!'' She pouted. Yeah, if you can dance with Guren in this public and I only smiled at it.

When Guren is finally alone, except to the papers in his hands. We went to him.

"Guren! Dance with me!'' Still the pouting Mahiru.

"Never in a life time.'' He said without taking his eyes off from the papers.

"Guren~!'' And I looked to the couples were dancing with their partners. I don't know if my eyes were deceiving me, but I saw Shinoa and that kid again. They were also dancing in the waltz music, and Shinoa's expression is what I really want to see from her. Her smiling face is different from Mahiru. I always thought she will never smile from the rest of her life just like me. But I was wrong, she is different from me. The smiling Shinoa is beautifuler than Mahiru.

Whoever that kid made her smile like that, I'm sure you change her point of view in life. They were happily dancing as I watch them smiling. But the turn of event easily comes, I saw step mother walking to the crowd were Shinoa and that kid. She harshly pulled them apart and Shinoa hit the ground, she yelled something that everyone in the dance hall stops dancing as the music stopped. I turn to Guren and Mahiru, seeing that she was not at Guren's side. Maybe she immediately hide away to the crowd. I turn back to where Shinoa is, the kid is blocking her from Step Mother's slap with her fan.

"Don't butt in here brat!'' And she harshly push him to the side and grab Shinoa's hair to stand up and starts hitting her in the face saying some immoral words that shouldn't a child should be heard off. I can't take this anymore, clenching my fist. I walked over to where Step Mother and grab her hand.

"Please Step Mother, don't make a scandal here.'' I lowly said, and she looked at me with her angry face.

"Who are you telling me what to do?! You can't even make Mahiru fall in love to you!'' She loudly yelled in my face that everyone could heard of it. I know the very fact that I couldn't fall Mahiru in love to me, but she don't have to say it in my face.

"This is not about me and Ma─''

"Shut up outsider! Tell me what to do when you make Mahiru loves you!'' I remained on my spot, stood stiffen at her words. That is impossible to happen. She order one of her servant to get Shinoa away to this crowd. Shinoa shouted the name of the boy as she reaches her hand to him. She was crying. Something I couldn't bear to watch as I look down to the ground clenching my fist. I could still hear her calling his name while crying, and the boy not so far away to me starts to run after them as he calls her name but one of the servant stops him. They're reaching their hands as they were calling each other's name while crying, when I tried to look at Shinoa I met her gaze. Tears flowing down from her eyes, asking me to do something but I don't know and I break our gaze. I couldn't do something even showing to her my pathetic smile, I want to scream how useless I am.

"Shinoa! Wait for me! I'm going to take you away to them! Shinoa! Shinoa!''

And I looked to the boy, he was crying as the servants hold him. I walked to them and ordered them to let go the boy, when they did three to four kids runs to him.

"Mika, what was that? You suddenly wander off when we─''

"We must do something! They take her away...'' still crying.

"Who was she? I don't really know what happen, but you just suddenly gone when we arrive here. And don't cry, please...'' said of the girl with her hair in braid, and the Mika boy took a deep breath for inhale then exhale for hiccupping sigh. There was still left over tears in his eyes.

"Hey, kid.'' As I grab his attention to me, he looked up. I didn't smile not single bit. "How did you find her?'' I asked sternly.

"She was my friend! I thought she was the new kid in the orphange so I approach her, she was really sad like those kids who brought up to the orphanage.'' He answered with his crying voice.

"Shinya, what was all the fuss about? And why was your great Step Mother doing in here and make a scandal?'' Guren annoyingly asked as he walk to us, he looked to Mika seeing his mess face he frown. "Okay kids, bring Mika to the staff room to calm him down. And you.'' As he face me. I smiled in front of him. "I need your explanation.'' And he walked to the other kids who remained holding their instruments. "Take your break for 20 minutes.'' And kids answered him happily, then he walks to another direction as I followed him asking where is Mahiru. Of course he answered me with his 'No idea' I'm-fucking-busy-to-know-where-she-is voice.

I fished my phone in my pocket and dialed her number, it keeps on ringing she wont answer. Tsk this can't be good, I slipped back my phone to my pocket and starts to ran off to the far away parking lot. And the car that Mahiru and I rode is gone, she went back ahead to the mansion without me. There's no other option but to run all the way back, its only 15 minutes to walk by feet. With all my speed and strength I arrive at the mansion more than I expected, I could be in Guiness book of world record. I immediately ask the maids where is Mahiru and they tell me that she was with the Mistress heading to her room. When I arrive there, I found a maid waiting at the door.

"Where are they?!'' Trying to regain my composure in front of the maid.

"The mistress is not allowing anyone to─''

"I know.'' As I twisted the door knob and open it. I found Mahiru standing at the bathroom's door. "Where is she?'' As I walk closer to her.

"Who?'' She deadpant answered as she rolled her eyes not wanting to meet my gaze.

"You know who I'm talking about.''

"What about it?'' She raised one of her eyebrow as she glared daggers at me.

"DON'T YOU CALL ME MOTHER! IF YOU LISTEN TO ME THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN!"

Step Mother's voice echoed in the bathroom, I glared to Mahiru and she do the same.

"Mahiru, this needs to stop! She's hurting your own little sister and most of all she's abusing her own daughter!'' As I hold her both shoulder, shaking back and fourth to have her own sense.

"I know! I'm not blind!'' She violently removed my hands in her shoulder, turning her back to me as she knocked the door so loud. "Mother, please stop this already! Shinoa doesn't deserved this, just let it go. I'll handle the rest!'' She loudly said enough for her mother could heard of it inside of the bathroom.

"No! This one has a thick skull and never listen─''

"But Mother─'' I cut her to what she's going to say, because hell, her mother also had a thick skull; I moved her away to the door as I slammed heavily my body to the wooden door and burst open.

What I first see is they were both standing at the side of the bath thub and Step Mother was firmly gripping Shinoa's hair at the back of her head as she push her face down to the bath thub full of water.

"Shinoa!'' Mahiru and I shouted her name as we went inside, I fastly walked to them and grab Shinoa to Step Mother's wrath.

"Are you alright?'' As I sweep her wet face in my shirt long sleeves, she was shaking terribly.

"Why did you let him enter?!'' She yelled at Mahiru as her glare fix on me. "YAYOI! YAYOI!'' She cursely called the maid's name, not wasting any seconds the maid had come.

"Yes, mistress?'' She asked the second she enter here in this wide bathroom.

"Take Shinoa back to her room, and double lock the doors!'' Automatically she went to us, taking Shinoa by hand away to me and Shinoa obediently followed her. Her eyes were cast down, clouded by melancholy.

"And take this man out of my sight before I might leave a bruise on his face.'' Still glaring at me with her eyes full of anger.

"Come on Shinya...'' Mahiru tugged at the end of my shirt and followed her outside. "How did you know about her?'' She silently said, her eyes were covered down by her bangs. I didn't answer her, hell no. I wont tell her.

"What's going to happen to her? She wont be eating for atleast two weeks? Mahiru, how can you do this to your own sister? Knowing all about this, how can you stay silent all this time? I wanted to do something about this, but the fact I'm just an outsider its beyond my control, beyond my league. But you... why?'' I breath out as I said that, trying not to dissapoint at myself, trying not to dismay at everything.

"You are correct there's nothing you can do, and only I am. I'm the only one who can stop everything about this to her, but that is up to me. Her salvation will never come and she will forever stay in that attic.'' She said and every word she said filled with venom.

"W-what are you planning?'' The only words came out from my mouth as my eyes widened at her words, she turned her back to me.

"Don't you ever come to her again, from now on you'll be banned going to the south wing. I'll tell all the house workers and security that you are not allowed to go in that place.'' And she started walking away. I called to her but she never face me, only her back. After that I went straight ahead to Shinoa but they were guards patrolling at the area already, even the secret passage I used to walk.

I can knock them out anytime but I don't know what will happen to me if Step Father take some action that will lead me of not being near to Shinoa again. Remembering the boy at the central plaza, I always thought that Shinoa will never smile or even cry cause I always see her of myself for being unable to trust everyone. But meeting that kid to her all my expection wash away, he changed her. With that I could still think that he was my trump card.

If I can't do anything right now with how useless I am, then maybe that boy could do it for me. Or for Shinoa, or for the promise he vowed loudly at that time with so many witnesses.

XXXX

A/N: hell, I don't know if that is so ooc of Shinya. iDunno x( next chapter will be seven years later, and our Shinoa will be 15 years old. And I can't wait to publish of it. QUESTION: when will be the time does Yuuichirou make his appearance in this fic? ANSWER: that is something you should wait, and yeahh rock and roll xD

P.S. Review please x)) and thank you for the reviews too (x


	3. Decieving Flower

Title: Liar's Roulette

Pairing: Shinya X Mahiru X Guren

Notes: I apologise for the long absence, I'm trying to get more inspiration to write this chapter down, its kinda challenging writing this one so you'll know it when you read.

Warning: There is a one scene that will be slight LEMON part, but I wont change the rating to M. It will still be rated T because this will happened once hohoho

Chapter 3: Decieving Flower

[ I ruined the happily ever after that never had the once upon a time. ]

At first place, I didn't want any of this to happened. Everything is wrong. I shouldn't love Guren, I shouldn't shattered Shinya's heart and I shouldn't let horrible things happened to my one and only sister.

I grown up to the environment where Mother should be followed to every she decision she had made or not expect the consequences. Mother said I should be on top, be professional and elegant and that's what I do. But this is not the real me, the real me want to shriek out over cute little things, eat all the sweets I want and be dependent as I am. But I just can't because once I defile her, she will throw me in the attic forever just like an old furniture. She will replace me with my little sister, all that I have now will be hers.

I know my little sister was living different from me. I have all I want and she don't have anything. She's living horrible and I'm the reason of it, I'm sure she despise me. Living only in the shadows just for my sake, if I made a one wrong move then the spotlight will be hers. She know nothing why would she be living like this, what would be her purpose if I can't make a false move. I teach her how to read and write, and teach all I learn from school.

Only in front of her and Guren that I can be real to myself. The truth is I never liked this family, I wish I was never one of them especially the moment when they cut all their ties to Ichinose family. My heart sank down when they introduced to me my fiancé.

The moment I meet him I already break his heart. I know that becoming one of this family is not that easy, he makes a lot of sacrifice for himself but I only cause him more damage. But despites all of that he showed to me his pathetic smile, that he is always be. He even tried to help me meeting with Guren. They made good friends though, even my sweet-shy Guren wont admit it.

Loving Guren is not my fault, loving Guren choose me. And I'm deeply in love to him, no one can save me, no one can stop me. I'm drowning. I'm just a simple flower who falls in love to the showered rain then just gone by after the sunshine. I hope there still be sunshine to me if he is really gone. I shake the thought away, without him to me is like a flower exposing to the pierce heat of sun in summer without watering. I'll withered.

A simple flower like me couldn't be easily tainted but when it comes to those who closed to her heart, I'll be willing to take chances that may covered me in mud. Protecting my little sister is one of my priority, she is a hidden flower that shouldn't be exposed from the evilness of this cruel world we live. I will never give the spotlight to her as my curtain pulled down for me. Because once it was on her, there's no escaping, there's no going back and everything will be twisted. A forever cursed.

But how can I stop this cursed? My mother is always there, giving me orders of what should I do. She said listening to her is a good thing, that she always do the right thing, even if its wrong it would still be right for her if she is the one doing the decision. I couldn't get react, I want to refuse, to decline but she is always right no matter what the consequences it. She is evil, the demon.

I always thought that the world only spins to me, I always thought that they would always looked for me. But I was wrong. I didn't know or how did Shinya knew about my little sister. When it comes to my little sister I lowered my guard, there's no use pretending in front of her, I can be with myself when I'm with her. And that was opportunity that Shinya caught me off guard and followed me in the south wing to where Shinoa is. I don't know how did he even earned her trust to him, but I felt betrayed. My own little sister has grown attach to someone who is not me.

I loved my little sister as I loved Guren. I loved both of them, but it comes to Shinoa that's another subject to talk about. She is my only ally in this house, she listen to my troubles and blubbering. But having someone at her side that is not me is like a flower growing its thorns. After the incident at the Celestial Festival, I turned my back on Shinya.

I know he will never tell me how did he meet my little sister, having someone who can protect her in front of Mother's evil hands made my heart crack. It should be me protecting her from mother, that's what I did all this years. But until that fateful day, when I saw Shinya walking towards at the center of the plaza, fiercely grab Mother's hand to stop hitting Shinoa. And reality slaps me in the face as my realization floated in front of me.

I didn't do anything, I couldn't do anything. All I did was rooting in my spot just like a flower where it grows, just like where I was instructed to remained by. I may have a brain but never had a heart. And all I did was pretending, making a scenario in the back of my mind that it was me protecting her. After that, I tried to control Shinya in my hands. Never wanting him to get near at my sister again. He corrupted her.

I visited Shinoa after the days had calm down, mother's health is getting bad, Shinya starts being cold to me. And Guren didn't say anything, I couldn't get close to him without Shinya.

The moment I opened the door, crumbled and torn papers scattered on the floor was the one who welcomed me. The books and sketch pad I gave to her were also in the corners of the room, the whole place is a mess. And I saw her starring blankly at the small window sitting in the edge of it, she acknowledge my presence but never turn her eyes on me. Starring nothing in particular from the outside, I bend down to pick the crumbled paper and opened it neatly as if the crack line will disappear. A sketch of me with a big x scratching the whole face of mine in the crumpled paper.

I looked at her wistfully and a fang of pain throbbed in my heart, her empty eyes used to have a little light every time I came here but now its nothing and hollow. I know very well that she is lonely and sad living all alone in this attic, but I shoved the fact to the corners of my mind that is not really all it matters. I failed. I don't even noticed that my tears has already escaping from my eyes as I sob. Finally, she turned her head to me as I wipe my tears at the back of my hand. Her stark eyes cast on me.

"What brings you here Lady Mahiru?" She asked as she went back looking at the outside, her voice seems imitating the way how I speak alone to Shinya. I couldn't emerged an answer as I only studied her. "Don't look at me like that, I'm no stranger here who suddenly barges in─ Opss!" She looked back at me with her smile. A smile that is resembling to someone who is not amuse but still smiling. "Hahaha... I'm actually a stranger in this mansion..." She mockingly laugh but dies out after I didn't react, her expression change as the laugh faded. "If you come here to warm me not to do that again, then don't worry, I won't." Her intense eyes never leaves on starring at me, she never put honorifics in my name before. Something change at her, she never act like this before and I know I'm the whole reason of it. I sadly smiled at her.

"I came here to give you another assignment to our lesson, make sure you study." And I walked to the corner to pick a worn out paper and a pencil and scribbled down all the words and letters. I looked back to Shinoa who still looking outside after I finished writing.

"Well then, see you..." I silently whispered knowing that she will never look at me again, taking small steps to where the door is, she starts to talk as I stopped my paces. I turned around to face her but she wasn't looking at me.

"I'm still expecting that Shinya will marry you, you have my early gratitude for that." I turned around to face the door, holding the knob as I held my breath.

"Hn" no words would came out from my mouth as I entirely leave the place. Why would she say that to me? Does Shinya have anything to do with these?

The next day comes, I saw Shinya at school but he didn't acknowledge my presence. I saw him sometimes taking his lunch alone, he even distance himself to Guren and Guren didn't say anything. And the day goes on just like that. Seeking Guren is not really that easy and he is the only one who can lifted my heavy feelings and sometimes he is the one making the effort to see me alone.

I wrapped my hands in his arms as I lay my head in his shoulder. The ocean virw at night is so very beautiful here in bay walk, its one of our favorite places that no one in our family knew about.

"After we graduate from high school, I'll be adopting a child from the orphanage to become the next heir of the Ichinose house." I loosened my grip on his arms and looked at him in the eyes, surprised by his sudden confession.

"But Guren... you don't want a child... from me?" The last word barely came like a whisper, he only smirk at me saying its impossible. Yes, we've been doing love making recently secretly. But why would he wants to adopt a child when he can plant his seed to another woman, but I cannot imagine something like that. Him and some other woman in his arms. I know our situation is not really that easy, even our relationship is forbidden, what we are doing right now is also forbidden! But... I looked at him almost teary. "But I still want a child from you Guren! After we graduate high school we can elope from this cruel world elsewhere." Tighting my grip on his arms and pouted.

"Don't be so cliché, and after that they'll find us and forcedly separate us and never see each other. As much as I wanted a child on my own I know its something that will never happen, I've already set my mind from the start because of the curse that lies within our bloodline from generation to generation passed down by. And I want to break that cursed by selecting a new one outside of the family tree." I knew what he meant by that, but I don't want to talk about it. Being Guren with me right now only matters.

Guren next to Shinoa is the most important people around me, I had always thought what I'm doing is something I can protect them but it only leads them to turning to pieces. After my last visits with Shinoa, I always ended up with Guren's arms. I can't face Shinoa right now, she will probably gives me her silent treatment just like the last time I visited her. I have no right to face her, and I didn't saw. Time goes fly so very fast.

After graduating high school, Guren did really adopt a child from the orphanage he's managing, he has the same age with Shinoa. And it looks like he is proud that Guren didn't make a mistake choosing him, sometimes it irritates me because of what I've expecting they'll be bonding just like a brother to little brother but I'm wrong! They are more on that! More like father and son and it makes me jealous! And he hardly gives me time to spend with him together, and life in college is 100 times busier than in high school. And Guren rarely sees me, same as Shinya he became the right hand of Kureto in the company while still studying.

Sometimes we go in dinner when everyone question us why were not spending each other, though its just a force dinner. We never spoke to each other, seeing in public that were together is enough but its no the same before. His smile is becoming more distort, plastic and sometimes solace. He is even more hard to read because of that barrier smile of his.

While we are busy on our worlds, I didn't notice that the season has always come and go. In spring which the flowers will bloom but it felt like I'm withering, in summer where the fireworks flew up to the sky in the end of August. In autumn which the leaves goes dried turning to yellow and falls down from trees and winter which the snow falls and the world feels like been covered in white blanket. I didn't noticed that nine years had already passed, nine years since my last visit to Shinoa. The last thing I gave to her is the assignment to our lesson but the truth is I wrote a poem for her, about us, being a flower with a smell of gun powder in this cruel world. She is the hidden lavender and I am the beautiful flower with no specific name, maybe a wild flower just like the wild grass.

Even years has passed by, I still couldn't face her. I haven't done anything good to her, I couldn't still release her from her cage. And its haunting me every time I remember her. While Mother still breathing, although she is already bedridden she still hold me in the neck, controlling me like a puppet with invincible strings. Sometimes I was forced to go to a party which is Shinya is my escort for the business celebration, or any acquaintance party, sometimes to face in press-con about our company, appearing in every interview, pictorial and anything! And I'm tired of it! But it's the life being a Hiiragi in industry.

"Ms. Mahiru there is a photo gone viral in social media about you and the president of Ichinose corp. that both of you has been running on a heavy downpour and you're wearing his soaked jacket to shield from the rain. Is this really you and him?" Asked one of the reporters who ambush us in here airport. I looked to my companion, we just came from another country for business trip that Kureto assign to us.

"Thats not really them, I believe. Right my sweet Mahiru?" Shinya answered and she looked at me, his hands envelops in my waist then his other hand caressing my cheeks and kissed me in the forehead.

"Yeah..." I indecisively answered and plastered a smile in front of the reporter then looked back at him. "Remember that one time when we are in Hawaii? We've also caught in the rain and we ran along to the parking lot and you didn't even offer your jacket to me." I pouted playfully.

"Its really my bad." He laughed. "The only thing in my mind at that time is to get in the car quickly, I'm really sorry for that." Then once again he kissed me, not in the forehead but in the lips. Its only a smack and after that we slip away to the mob of reporters and went inside of the car that's been waiting to us. Inside to the car, we didn't speak a word until minutes pass by. He broke the silence.

"Next time Mahiru you sneak at my back make it sure no one sees you, so this will never happen again." He smiled at me and I also smiled at him sweetly.

"Does it bother you? Or did it really trouble you?" I sacasticly asked, but this time he opened his eyes while smiling at me.

"I'm not really interested what will gonna happen to you and Guren, but it really bothered me when it comes to my reputation that I build up all this years for the company will shattered down because of your lovey dovey with him. Make it more private and secret. That's all." His eyes back on the road as he tap his fingers in the wheel. I raised my brow at him.

"Stop the car." I hissed.

"Can you wait until we arrive at the mansion? So you can sneak away to the unwanted eyes." He simply said as a mother of fact. I glared at him and rolled my eyes away to him as I looked to the outside. Green lights to red.

Just a while ago we are faking in love and right now we're arguing. I'm not sorry to everything about him. Time seems to froze forever in this hectic evening traffic. And finally we're home at last, I went straight ahead to my room and sleep everything and dream of Guren. And I heard my phone beep, so I pick it to read the message.

'We need to talk.'

A text from Guren, maybe he wants to talk about the viral photo. Tch. Stupid paparazzi, and whoever took that photo I cursed you. Leaving no choice, I will meet him. He didn't say a specific time and place, so I know where is this and he will be waiting for me at that place. I waited inside my room until everyone in the mansion to go to their slumber, and that will be the right time to sneak away.

I arrive at the place where Guren and I usually meet out of the unwanted and unknown eyes, or from paparazzi, or from our family and everything. Its one of his small house vacation in the outskirts of the city. Well, its really late at night like 1:45AM in the early morning night.

"Guren..." As I entered the living room with no single light, only the illuminated moonlight shine in the glass windows. He was sitting at the sofa and barely knowledge my presence. I sit beside him and automatically wrap my hands in his arms and lay my head in his shoulder and relax for a bit. After a while he shifted his position to face me, I looked at him silently as my brows knitted together.

"Mahiru... I think we should stop all of this. There is no destination for this and we are only hurting ourselves, this is for the-"

"No!" I cut him, I don't want to hear it! I don't want to listen it! And I covered both of ears with my hands. "Please don't say it! Please take back what you said! Guren... please... don't do this..." And I started to cry closing my eyes.

"Mahiru..." Saying my name silently, he caressed my cheeks. "I love you enough to do this, everyone is against to us. And we need to accept the truth." And he leaned down as he closed his eyes and our lips touched, he bit my lower lip as I gave him access to my mouth. His tounge slides in me as our tounge dance in heat rhythm.

"Guren..." I sigh between our kisses deepened and my arms wrapped to his neck pulling closed to me and caressing his hair with my hands. And his hands whose on my cheeks were now stroking my hair near my ear and his other hand slides up to my back, rubbing with circles.

His kiss is different, it taste bitter but I swallowed down the flavor. His kiss is so cruel and sad, and a single tear drop flow down from my closed eyes. Guren. Is the only word floating in my mind right now. And I didn't feel that his right hand is already under my clothes, touching the outline of my bra and his other hand still in my hair. I moaned when I felt his hand slips to my bra and cupped my breast, rubbing his thumb with my nipple making hardened. I arched my back with pleasure, and our kiss slides up and down.

He pulled away, breaking our kiss. I looked at his eyes, his are mournful and I can see the aching of his heart and it torn my heart apart seeing him in pain. I leaned to him and kiss him roughly, entering his cavern and savoring his flavor. I unbuttoned my my blouse, revealling my chest to him. He pushed me gently as our kiss deepened as he unbuttoned his shirt too. Laying my back in the soft sofa, while tracing his bare chest with my fingers as he was on top of me. We locked each others eyes and my other hand caressing his cheeks and wistfully smiled at him.

We knew were this would lead, he leaned down on the crook of my neck and my hands automatically wrapped in him. Smelling his fragrance and I could feel his hands embracing me.

'I'm sorry...'

And I moaned in pleasure, feeling his tounge in my earlobe. I heard him whispered but I choose to pretend that I didn't heard him. Leaving butterfly kisses in my neck, to my shoulder, to my collarbone down to my chest. He unclasped my bra revealing my breast, he rub my nipple and I moaned sweetly in his ears. He kissed me again while rubbing my nipple both of his hands, my back arched in pleasure as I let him lead the hot passionate of our kisses.

There's no stopping now, our bodies were longing for each others touch, our minds were both hazy in pleasures clouded by the heat of our warmth closed bodies. Our love making continues as we reached our climax, we cuddled close with no single clothes in our bodies. I snuggled closed to him, not wanting to escape every single breath and warmth from him and treasured this moment.

When the morning comes, I feel the coldness in my skin. When I woke up, Guren is not on my side. Leaving me alone with the only warmth of the blanket could give to me, I feel the coldness run to my spine. There's no trace of him anywhere. I started to cry hysterically, he didn't even leave a note for me. I cried and cried, knowing he will never coming back.

I feel like throwing up and ran to the kitchen's sink and throw everything wants to come out from my mouth. I feel dizzy after that and my head hurts very much looks like a bat of baseball hits my head. After the pain eased away but I could still feel that there is ache, I put my clothes back on me and combing my hair with my fingers. Feeling everything representable, I leave the house and went back to mansion before I could feel nauseated.

Arriving secretly at the mansion, I sneak to my room right away and plopped down to my bed. My head hurts and my sight circling around, I need more sleep.

When I woke up its already evening, my stomach growls and my headache is still there. I went to kitchen to eat something for my empty stomach. I eat a lot, rice with chicken curry then to appetizer I ate the pineapple that the maid sliced for me, then to dessert. I'm such a pig!

Days past just like, and ever since that night I didn't heard anything from Guren. I tried to call him on his phone and the worst is unattended, he changed his numbers. I tried to call his phone number in his office, but only his cold-hearted assistant would answer saying not to call again. I'm starting to get annoyed at this, rosing up at my study desk from paper works. Just wait and see you bastard as I exited my office, I felt like my sight twisted and I lost my balance. Gladly, I support my hands on the wall avoiding to crush down to the floor. I blink my eyes once, twice standing straight. I regained my composure and started walking away, there is no way that I am what I've thinking. Not now.

I entered my car and starts the engine, went to my personal check ups and I couldn't believe that all my suspicion are true. I'm three weeks pregnant. Yes, I can notice. My odd weird eating hobbies like a bread tossing to my coffee and eat it, its really delicious then there's my addicting eating a boiled egg and how I easily gets exhausted over little paper works. There is no way, but the evidence is already in my hands. I locked myself inside the car, not in the mood to deal with everyone. Ughhh... One of the reasons why Guren doesn't want a child its because of the illness run down from their family's blood. His mother died in laboring him, his father died in an early age and him... I don't know he never said a word to me but I can see that the symptoms are starting to show. So this means, that this baby I'm carrying may inherited their family's illness. And I can't imagine that my baby and Guren will die first before me. No...

This child I bear will only bring disaster to our family, it may start a storm and our family will never severe ties again. I wanted that both of our family will be leaning each other's back again, but how? There must be a way right? I just need to figure it out, Guren's family doesn't have a problem with that but how about my family? The Hiiragi? I pick my phone to my bag and scrolled down to my contacts, searching for a name and called it and make some arrange meeting privately.

Later that evening night, Shinya made an arrange dinner for both of us. It was entirely like a movie theme set, an outdoor restaurant just like you see in movies. So very cliché. I arrive at the exact time and Shinya was already there, he smiled at me as he offered the chair for me to sit down. The entire dinner was so very silent with a little gesture of holding hands and look so real but fake smile, but I choose to smile at him genuinely maybe its the last thing I could do for him. This man had become more devastated mentally, even if he won't show it I can see it.

After the dinner had finished, we went to the parking lot. He opened the car's door for me and I just looked at him capriciously, his brows furrowed together and I smiled at him and give him a peck on his lips. I was so sure I made him surprised but I just went inside of the car didn't say a thing. The night passed just like a tired sigh escapes from my lips.

After my arrange meeting with my personal lawyer Mr. Saito, I decided to finally face my little sister.

This is it, I've finally made up my mind. After nine years not showing to her my bleak appearance, I wonder what will gonna happen. Opening the same old thick door, it made a squeak sound as it opened fully. Revealing the same old room with a small window, that everything has been buried by dust. And the middle of it, a lone girl facing the floor as she curved down with a small pencil in her hands then to the floor lay down a paper with a sketch of a person.

She looks up and meet my gaze, the same eyes who looked back at me, just like the same eyes I saw nine years ago. She rose up to sit and quickly pulled the paper from the floor and shove to her chest, as if protecting away from me.

"Hey, Shinoa..." I greeted her and went inside, closing the door behind me and settled in front of her to the floor to sit down.

"Why are you here?" She blankly asked, its been years I haven't heard her voice, sounds like a dull lullaby in a broken music box.

"You've grown beautiful." I strained a smile in my face. "A lot of things happened that's why I couldn't come here." And my voice feels like a whisper to the air as I glance away to her, starring something not in particular object. I lied again.

"I can see that." She stated bluntly and couldn't hide that I frown at her words. "Tell me Mahiru, I mean Lady Mahiru." And I directly face her when her voice filled with sarcastic amusement as I saw her lips curved in thin line but her eyes full of abomination. "Why did you decided to show your face after all?" She simply said more like a statement than a question.

I wistfully sigh in front of her, there are things that you wanted to change but its already carved down and there's no going back in time to change the things that had already happened. Lying to her is pointless, she can read me like an open book, after all she is still a Hiiragi.

"I'm pregnant and Guren is the father." She mum surprised but I continue to speak. "And I'm not here to lash out all my problems to you." How ironic. She hardened her gaze at me. "Probably this will be the last time we can see each other. Shinoa, always remember that I loved you and all I do is for you. After this circumstances, expect that Guren will come here and take you out of this place." Her eyes widen.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?"

"Somewhere far away." I smiled "Remember Shinoa, I'm sure Guren will treat you more like his own sibling, maybe his own child. You will finally leave this place and I know he will protect you from this family, they can never lay a single finger on you and you can do whatever you want in Guren's care. He is a kind man." I tried my best not to cry in front of her, I want to embrace her badly. Her long lavender hair weave just like a falling curtain in an early morning spring.

"You're not answering my question!" Consternation could be seen in her hardened expression. "Are you trying to kill your self? I didn't know you are this weak Mahiru! Why would you involved that child you're carrying to my freedom in this prisonment? That child has nothing to do with me!" She glared at me, her eyes flared with anger.

"B-but this is for you... this child will only be your bridge to the outside." I choked, holding my tears not to fall.

"I hate you, liar!" She yelled and covered her ears with both of her hands and the paper that she's been holding sway down to the floor revealing a sketch of a kid. But that didn't matter now, Shinoa has been closing her eyes refusing to look at me.

"Shinoa... please..." I beg her.

"No! You're only doing this because you don't want them to discover about the child in your womb and releasing me in this attic is your only choice to hide the real reason why you'll kill yourself!" She whimpered, her lips were shaking. I raised my hand to reach her shoulder but she flinch when I touched her.

Her eyes opened, revealing a pair of copper orbs brimming with callous. Her blank expression cast on me.

"Please leave... I don't want to see you... you're so selfish! Always about you and your feelings and never even cared about the feelings of the people around you, I still couldn't see why Shinya is in love with you. You're a heartless liar! You could have just marry him and claim he is the father of your child, there still some other way Mahiru! Why can't you see that? You've already break his heart but he will still accept you and help you get through with this, and we can be happy. Simple as that!" No... you don't understand Shinoa, if only it could be simple as that. I love Guren and my heart is only for him.

"Shinoa, all those bedtime books I've read to you were also a liar. Happiness doesn't exist just like fairy tales, much more to the world we live in. Once you step outside, all your expectation and beliefs will crush down. Please don't let your hope goes up." Picking the paper from the floor who had slide down from her grasp, gazing at the sketch of a kid in her childhood on that fateful day whose smiling innocently.

I stood up, leaving the paper in the floor. I looked down at her, her eyes still glaring at me. She hates me and I've even give her more reasons to hate me, Shinoa you are too young to understand everything. Once you learn the cruelness in this world, once you experience pain and love. You will never be the same way before and you'll realize everything has change in front of you.

"I won't becoming like you!" And I leave the place, hearing the last thing I wanted to hear from my little sister. I know you won't, and you'll never be.

I'm the tainted flower, and you are a pure flower. I'll sacrifice my own happiness just for you to feel it eternally, I always loved you even if I can't prove it to you. I didn't regret being a selfish, if its for you I'll do it.

Lifting the cup of milk tea to my lips that the maid prepared for me, by drinking this all of her suffering will end.

A/N: I dont want to spoil, but next chapter Yuuichirou will make an appearance. Yeaahhh! I just want you to get excited x)) Please leave your thougths and comments at the review section.

Sankyuu. (^_^)7


	4. Solitary Knight

Liar's Roulette

Pairing: YUUxSHINOAxMIKA

NOTES: hello, everyone I'm back with a new chapter. Hope you enjoy it. :)

Chapter 4: Solitary Knight

[ Don't put your happiness in someone else's hand. They'll drop it.]

Ugh, so troublesome. Here I am, in front of the long table of Hiiragi's meeting room facing the whole family. Well, where is Shinya? I don't see him in the chairs sitting with the standard Hiiragi's stoical faces.

Mahiru's death had become a mystery. They said she died on a cardiac arrest, some other says she commit a suicide and some others says someone tends to killed her by poisoning her. But whats more surprising? Her family tries to cover the truth of the reason of her death, whatever it is. Its an ugly truth.

And the reason why I am here with her whole family is because I'm one of the people who'll be receiving a will from her, that I'll becoming the legal guardian of her little sister. That really surprised me, who knows she had a little sister? And the most interesting part is that the Hiiragi family has been hiding her existence in the whole industry. And if they wont surrender her to me I can make a file case to the court of Child Abuse that will leave the work of the hands of my personal lawyer.

If its something from Mahiru, I'll take it. Whatever reason why she had died I know there is something going on this family, maybe a murder. One of this stoical concrete faces killed her, I don't have any evidence to prove it but someday the truth will flow out. Or maybe not a murder. I dont know! My mind isn't working correctly since I'd heard the news. Mahiru, what did really happened?

After all the meetings and arrangement from here and there, I've finally get to escort the youngest Hiiragi. Heading to the south wing where she was located, I opened a door revealing a stairs up to the attic. Ugh, this is so troublesome. I take the lead of walking, following behind me my assistants Sayuri and Shigure. Arriving at the top of the stairs another door face us, by opening it made a tiny long squeak sound.

As we entered the room, the place is full of old furnitures that had forgotten by the time, burried by years and dust. Seems like no one is here. The door slammed shut behind us, and when we turned around there's no one. Seconds passed by and we're still starring at the door shut.

"This is starting to get creepy.'' I heard Sayuri murmured. And then we heard a laugh, a soft giggle. Something similar to Mahiru. And I could feel the two women stood closely beside me. This is getting ridiculous! Are they easily tricked something like this by a brat's prank?!

"Show yourself.'' I sternly said.

"Hahaha... You must be Guren?'' The figure comes out from the shadows corner revealing a short girl (almost with the same height with Shigure but still short) wearing an old dress down to her knees and her hair cascading down to her back with a little bit darker from Mahiru's hair color.

"If you know who I am, I believe you already know why I am here.'' I said to her, wanting to drop her playful act.

"Oh yes! I know. Mahiru did mention it to me.'' She chirpily said but I can feel the dourness behind her words. I raised my one eyebrow amused at her bubbly personality that I want to fall it down.

"So, you know how did she died?'' With the hint of my voice a little amused with sarcasm and her playful acts drop immediately, she looked down to the floor covering her eyes with her bangs.

"One thing I know for sure. She is a liar.'' Silently she said almost like a whisper but I can still manage to hear it. Her eyes gazed back at me with her blank expression, its the big opposite of Mahiru's cheerful personality.

And the conversation flew out to the window, looks like she don't want to talked about it. Everyone is mournful at Mahiru's death, especially their mother. Even me.

"You want to come with us? Because I'm not taking no as an answer.'' And I gestured to Shigure to walk with the girl and its a good sign that she didn't fight back to stop us.

Leaving the Hiiragi Mansion, we've manage to get a little shopping for Shinoa's clothes and other things she'll be need. Can you believe that? The Hiiragi's has been collecting more money in their company but didn't even buy her a single dress? Let alone slippers, when we leave the mansion she didn't even had anything wearing on her feet. Ugh, this is so troublesome to her. Now I understand why would Mahiru left her sister to me. But I know there is something more. The Hiiragi's wouldn't surrender their hidden treasure so easily. I must be careful, not making a false move or else they can use that to me to against it.

It's already evening, and I told Sayuri to dress Shinoa something representable. We will be attending her sister's funeral service. I went straight to her newly room prepared for her. Opening the door, I saw Sayuri doing something in the closet and Shinoa sitting in her coffe table chair located at the veranda sipping a tea.

"I thought Yuu was already here?'' I asked to Sayuri.

"Ah! Master Guren! I didn't feel you entering the room. About the young master, I believe he is with Yukimi looking for you.'' She answered hastily at her first sentence but a little bit of poky of her voice mentoning about the idiot young master.

I looked back to the door who suddenly burst open, with the idiot who hurriedly walk towards me. His raven hair is a little bit messy still wearing his school uniform.

"What took you so long?'' I asked him rather irritated at his late arrival.

"Well I came home late from school then I looked for you in the office but you're not there, I run into Ms. Shigure and asked her about you but she said I should search you on my own so I followed her around she might change her mind and tell me to where you are and―''

"Shut up.'' I cut him briskly, I have no interest listening to his blubbering. That make him silent with a scowl face. I walked to where Shinoa is and seated to the other vacant chair of the coffee table.

"This is Shinoa.'' And I looked at her that the brim of the cup was still in her lips. "And Lady Shinoa you are going to stick out with my son here.'' I dryly said at her.

"Huh? What do you mean Gu―Father?'' He densely asked and I let out a tiredly sigh.

"Son? Lady Mahiru didn't mention to me that you had a son.'' Shinoa tilted her head.

"Doesn't matter. By the way, Yuuichirou you will be serving Shinoa under my care and from now on she'll be staying with us.'' I explained to Yuu and I looked back to Shinoa where the cup is already on the table. "And you Shinoa you'll be looking out for him too, well sometimes he is… you know.'' And I finished my sentence with a little .

"Sometimes what?'' She asked innocently with a hint of gibing and I looked back to my idiot adopted son whose face made even more than a scowl and in a few seconds I could see smokes coming out from his nose. I smirk.

"You'll know soon.'' And I stood up. "I believe everyone is prepared. Are you ready?'' And I narrowed my eyes to Shinoa and her confuse expression still plastered on her small face, pretending didn't know what I'm talking about.

"About what?'' She asked baffled.

"To attend to your sister's funeral service.'' And I walked to Yuu giving him a heavy pat on his back. "Goodluck, I hope you will get along with her, butler. I'll be expecting a report with this within a week.'' And I went straight to the door. "I'll be waiting in the car for five minutes, and please don't make me wait more than that.''

And I leave the place completely and stopped back at my office to confirm some documents and appointments and leave some paperworks for Shigure. I went to my car and waited for the new bickering love birds will arrive. If you stick together an idiot and an annoying the outcome is one with a scowling face and the other with a pouting face.

Shinoa is hard to deal, sometimes with her playful act hids a double meaning of her words.

Mahiru is a liar.

I don't know what that means, one thing for sure. I know she hides something , not for me but to everyone. And maybe if she spends more time with Yuu there might be a slight chance that she'll open her heart to everyone, I shouldn't say to everyone but at least to anyone.

We arrive at the place where the funeral is been held, I opened the car's door and expecting everyone's eyes will be looking at us. Yuu followed behind me with Shinoa at his side, we enter the place and saw from afar the open-coffin of Mahiru. We sat down to the chairs thats been reserved for us and someone serves us with coffee and biscuits and sandwhich. Some intriguing eyes were still on us or to Shinoa, and she only displayed her blank expression.

"Aren't you going to give a glance at your sister there?'' I asked her, but she pretend that she didn't heard me as her attention was on her reflection swirling in the coffee.

I looked around, there were still eyes lingered on Shinoa and make some inaudible whispers. Today was the third night of Mahiru's funeral, then on sunday will be her burial. And Shinya still hasn't return from his bussiness trip in Guam. Within minutes the service had start then it ends after one hour.

We went back to the car after the service had finished, I want to stay the night and starred at Mahiru's sleeping face until the morning comes but I still have bussiness meetings and appointments to be done. Looking at the rearview mirror I saw Shinoa looking outside of the car's window with her same blank expression, she didn't even show any sympathy at the funeral and the people keep on talking at her back.

"So, she was the replacement of Mahiru."

"I heard that she was the Hiiragi's secret card.''

"It's true that there's another daughter in Hiiragi's.''

"She looks like Mahiru.''

Ugh, this is so troublesome. After the next funeral service, I didn't brought her because of those back stabbers and her unwanted presence. Her father didn't even look at her, her brothers didn't even know about her, and her mother who were physically and mentally ill that seeing Shinoa will only things get worst.

"Sayuri, I want you to personally tutor Shinoa after her sister's burial so we can enroll her to the next opening class.''

"Yes Master Guren, uhmnn…'' she trailed deciding to say it or not.

"What is it?'' I looked at her in the eyes that I will listen to what she's going to say.

"Lady Shinoa and your son were in an argument just a while ago, I don't want things go… you know… but it's much better if you knew it.'' She pondered and I sigh mentally. That idiot son…

"Where are they?'' I tiredly asked.

"In the kiosk near the pond.'' And I stood up from my chair and went straight to the place where Sayuri mentioned.

I saw them sitting in opposite direction, face to face while Yuu doing some school works and Shinoa, well, being Shinoa starring blankly at the pile of books in the table. I approach them with a smug.

"So I heard you two had a lovers quarrel?''

"Just a while ago and now we're okay.'' Yuu answered without lifting his head from the notebook he's facing to look at me.

"Ohh…'' and I looked to Shinoa who obviously in her blank expression that she was bored. "What happened?'' Surely I can feel the heavy tension between them.

"I just wanted to be alone in my room but the stupid butler wont leave me, feels like he was head over heals on me.'' She playfully said with her sweet voice and Yuu twitched his lips urging to ignore of what he had just heard.

"Isn't bad? Well, Yuuichirou here is your butler and I'd given him duty to be at your side 24/7.'' I cheerfully said but failed to hide my sarcasm in my words, riding with her acting skills. Let's see who is going to drop first with this egoistic attitude.

"But I'm old enough to have a baby sitter.'' She pouted and it reminded me of Mahiru's pouting face, she's always pouting at me everytime I didn't agree with her or go out with her. I grimaced mentally at the memory flashed in my mind.

"But he is not your baby sitter, you are.'' I managed to continue my acting.

"What?!'' Yuu slammed his pen with force so loud that he even stood up, both hands in the table, one curled with fist.

"You got a problem?'' I smug at him and he twitched, I poked him in the forehead. "Don't give me that look, show some respect to your father in front of a lady.'' He irritately removed my finger in his forehead, what a short fuse.

"Now, this is what I've called lover's quarrel.'' Shinoa blurted out tring not to laugh with her sham smile.

"What did you say?!'' Yuu almost yelled at her but manage not to shout reminding to his self that I'm still in his―their presence, and I rub my temple trying to calm down.

"Can I talk to you alone?'' Trying not to get annoyed at his sudden outburst as I too will start to blow my short fuse. Ugh, this is so troublesome. His scowling face turned in to sober, I looked to Shinoa who was still watching us with her hands cupped her cheeks, elbows resting in the table and eyebrows knitted together in amused way. What a headache sight, I think I've seen somewhere this kind of gesture or style.

"You can take your time to be alone.'' Despites of all, I showed to her my rare slight smile for assurance.

"That's all I've wanted.'' She stretch her arms forward and stood up. "I'll be only in my room.'' Then she give us a low bow and left, well that was unexpected for her to show politeness or is it that she was taught of étiquette and manners?

I sit to the spot where Shinoa seated a while ago and looked to Yuu who settled to sit down too. He composed his self and looked into my eyes that he was ready to listen to what I'm going to say, I've trained him enough but not enough, he has still lot to learn.

"I believe I've haven't told you the real reason why I let you to look for her.'' I said sternly with so much authority I've put to my words.

"Yes, but from what I've understand Ms. Sayuri told me that she was living all alone and never gone outside. So you assign me to look for her.'' He easily explained, but still he needs to learn more. To learn to study a heart and how it works especially to females, but nonetheless, this boy always give me an unexpected impression.

"That's one of the reason, listen Yuuichirou, every girl must treat like a broken fragile even if they are annoying or a bother―''

"STOP HUMORING ME GUREN, just tell it to me already.'' And I smirk at him, one of the reason why I'm proud of him; down to bussiness with no flowery words.

"First, you must learn to control your temper at her. I know sometimes she gets you in nerve, but no one can blame her if she is that way the way she is. The Hiiragi's hide her and it's true that she was living all alone without going outside, well there was a one time she tried but the the consequences is not really that good. From what I've heard her own mother tried to sink her face in the toilet or… is it in the drum full of water? Anyway, being here under my care this is all new to her. New environment, new people, new experience and new raw feelings. All of these are foreign to her.

You have to understand her, especially to how she will used her emotions. I know you already noticed it, but she's adjusting how to express her emotions.'' And that leaves to him to sank my words in his working mind.

"Yeah, I noticed it too. The night at the funeral of her sister, she didn't even show any emotions, looks like she was insensible to the people who talked at her back and stealing glances at her.'' He stated.

"That is why I wanted you to look for her, we didn't know what she'll gonna do. She maybe emotionally unstable, those playful acts, decisive smiles and taunting comments all of those are just a disguise to hide her real feelings. She don't trust anyone, since she grow up with no one to talk maybe Mahiru only and since Mahiru hates their own family she taught Shinoa not to trust to everyone.

If it's possible Yuu, you have to open her locked heart for her to express how she really felt, because we all believed that it's much better to let out all your emotions and feelings than to keep them inside.'' And I smiled at him enough to understand.

"I know now how she feels, it is something I can relate before I came to the orphanage. You can count on me Guren! I wont let her feel alone.'' And a new determination build inside of him. Looking to Shinoa makes me remember of Yuuichirou when he was brought at the orphanage when he was young, nine years ago.

"Don't fail her Yuu like those people who failed her.'' And I stood up, running my fingers in my hair while looking at him. "Oh, if you want advice on how to treat a lady you can seek Sayuri or Shigure or even me. Butler Yuuichirou.'' And I leave him with a scowling face.

Tonight will be the last day Mahiru's funeral and there will be a lot of visitor to come. Friends, business partners, relatives, media and etcetera. Bringing Shinoa is not a good choice, she may attract unwanted attention. She's still in first step of adjusting in this new world of her. Nothing happened in the last funeral service, and Shinya was still missing in his last glimpse of his fiencee.

Then on burial day, times seems to go slow down. With the stubborn Shinoa who alleged that she had a toothache so she wont be attending the cerimonial of her sister's burial, but glady Yuuichirou was there to make some sense to her. How did he do it? I don't know. (You will know it when it was his time for his chapter's points of view. XP)

Arriving on the church, Yuu decided that it's better for Shinoa to stay in the car with his company and I left them alone and went to church inside. After the church service, we arrive at the cemetery and Shinoa decided to show her appearance for her respect to her sister.

The priest was now in the middle of his sermon when Shinya too make an appearance, I didn't see him in the church, maybe he just came from the airport and teleport immediately here. Same with Shinoa, he also had an unreadable expression.

"Before we send Lady Mahiru to the heaven, all of her beloved this is your last chance to see her off. We know, I know that wherever she is now; she is happy, she didn't have any regret for all we know that a time will come when the light of our candle will die.''

The priest said and the maids starts to distributing white roses, and the main family too starts to glance at her sleeping form in the opened-coffin with their black shades. And Mrs. Hiiragi starts to cry hysterically in her wheel chair.

A red headed in bob hair approach us or to Shinoa, she's wearing a frameless glass in her eyes. She handed Shinoa a white rose for her to offer for her sister.

"I know you'll attend Lady Shinoa and I saved this flower for you.'' She smiled sadly at her, holding her tears and Shinoa only accepted the white rose with no trace of emotion. "I'm so very glad that you've finally out in that attic.'' And she embraced her, resting her cheeks near in Shinoa's ear as she closed her eyes. "I'm so very happy for you at the same time so very sad of your sister, when you're finally free then it was time for her to go. Everything was so very unexpected, no one would see it coming.'' And she released her that her tears is ready to go down any seconds now.

"I'm very sorry for the instrution Master Guren, I-I just want to see Lady Shinoa before anything else. Please take care of her.'' And she bowed formally in front of me. "Until then Shinoa, see you next time. I wanted to see you again so I wont say goodbye.'' And she pat her in the head and slowly leave us while waving her hand.

"Who is she Shinoa?'' Yuu curiously asked as he watch the girl distributing flowers.

"Ms. Yayoi, aside from Mahiru and Shinya who stopped coming in the attic. She was the only one remained giving me foods and collecting for my laundry.'' She monotonously answered.

And I heaved a sigh, releasing all the feelings I had inside as I rub my temple.

"It's time.'' I said to her. "You have to see your sister before they will close her coffin.'' And I started to walk to where the sleeping Mahiru is, and Yuu gently tugging at Shinoa.

I saw Shinya who is also wearing a black shades and his left hand covering his nose and mouth, he is crying. I'm not sure, he still wearing his business suit.

I looked to Mahiru's sleeping face silently, she was still beautiful even though her eyes wont open anymore. Her silky hair, cute nose, rosy cheeks and plump lips I wont be able to touch them anymore and feel its warm. I want to stop my tears from falling down, but I can't. I couldn't give her the happiness she deserve, I know it's too late to regret but there's nothing I can do.

She died.

She went ahead.

She left me.

And she wont be coming back.

Please wait for me there.

I might be coming to you.

Who knows.

I'm sorry if I couldn't shout to the world how much I loved you, how much I care for you, how much I've wanted to be with you, to make a family with you, to be the mother of our children but… all of those will happen only in my dreams alone. I know you understand, but I couldn't forgive myself. I've hurted you, I made you cry so many times and breaking your heart.

I'm sorry.

I glanced away to her and give some space for Shinoa to fully view her sister. She still have her emotionless face starring at her sister, I walked away to them to give her some privacy and Yuu followed me not so for away to them.

Everyone's eyes was on her, the semi-replica of Mahiru was there standing in front of them. Eyes in wided, silent gasp and inaudible whispers somewhere from the crowd.

"Shinoa dear…'' a fragile weak voice called her, and it's their mother sitting in a wheel chair, to her side stands the Great Tenri then to her other sides stands Kureto, Seishirou and Shinya with the very same expression just like they have seen a walking vampire in a heat summer. Shinoa turned to face her still with her expresionless face.

"Come dear, let's go home…'' her mother continued and Shinoa only shook her head in response and returned her gazing on Mahiru.

She remained unemotional from the intense eyes of everyone, she acted like they didn't even standing there. What is all it matters, was that she can see the face of her sister before she pass on heaven.

Shinoa's mother stood up from her wheel chair and walked shakily towards her daughter, she kneeled in front of her and held her shoulder in dismally.

"I'm tired Mahiru, let's go home now. Listening to me will only make things better right? Let's stop all of this nonsense and forget that this happened, okay? Did you understand Mahiru? Mahiru…?!'' Shaking the emotionless girl in her shoulders as she cried deliriously, still Shinoa remained impassive as she looked at her mother , she was shook terribly in her mother's arms like trying to wake up from a nightmare. And she didn't even stop her until she was push down to the ground.

Yuu tried to run after her but I stopped him when I saw Kureto and Shinya ran to them. Kureto assisted her mother to sit back in the wheel chair as Shinya helped Shinoa to stand up.

"How can you do this MAHIRU?! Listen to me!'' She cryingly screaming at her like she was betrayed by.

The priest decided to continue the ceremonial to bring down the coffin since everything was out of control.

Shinoa only looked down to the deep six feet ground where Mahiru's remains will be buried, Shinya stood next to her putting his arms in Shinoa's shoulder.

I shut my eyes tight at the distressing sight in front of me, Mrs. Hiiragi voice could still be heard in the background calling Mahiru's name, mistakenly calling to Shinoa as Mahiru. I opened my eyes at the unchanging setting, I shove my hand in my pocket to grasp Mahiru's handkerchief and tossed it to her burying coffin along with the white roses, the crowd starts to dissolve when the coffin completely covered by earth.

Shinya and Shinoa was still at their spot, neither are moving eyes still on the buried ground. Then minutes passed by, Shinya finally face her and gave a her a pat in the head. She looked at him hearteningly and seconds passed by she hurried her face in his chest and wrapped her arms in his back tightly them a muffled sobs can be heard. He was taken aback of what just happened but comprehend to stroke her back.

She is showing good sign. That who barely shows any emotions could be breakdown and bawl like that.

No matter how strong and tough you may show outside but deep inside of you is killing you silently and breaking you into pieces. Well, I can say for sure that she can have long deep sleep.

I walked towards them with Yuu following me and give Shinya a twice tap in his shoulder. I glanced to Shinoa who is still embracing him with her silent sobs.

"Shinoa, do you want to go home now?" And she slightly nod.

"But Guren~ I want to spend more with her~" and Shinya whined, I can't believe this guy. For real? Is he a pedophile? Or is he really that easily to change his mood? But after all, this is Shinya we are talking about. And I couldn't tell if his action earlier were real or not, this guy deserves an award.

And finally Shinoa decided to let go of him, wiping her wet face with her dress collar but Yuuichirou was there to give her a clean handkerchief.

"Are you feel better now?'' Shinya asked her with so much calm and soothing voice. Seriously this guy. He is like a weather machine who easily changes the mood with one swipe. I'm not surprised, even a situation like this he can be a clown.

"I'm fine, no worries. I'm still breathing.'' She smugly answered and I mentally slap my forehead the way how she answered, these two are giving me a headache. Just a while ago she was weeping and now she is being conceited. Ugh, this is so troublesome.

"Hmnnn…'' I raised my eyebrow at her. "Are you sure you don't want to continue your weeping?''

"Weeping?'' She tilted her head, looking at her adopted brother. "Whose weeping Shinya?''

"I wonder who?'' He asked quizzicaly. "Maybe when that someone could be finally alone, and he can weep all he wants."

Now I know where Shinoa get this kind of attitude. I sigh mentally at this and their nonsense bantering continues.

"Shinoa.'' And he suddenly changed into seriousness. "You are finally free.'' He smiled at her with no trace of playful acts. "This is what Mahiru wanted.''

And her playful act drops immediately, she looked down and her expression changed into stoical.

"She is a liar.''

And her playful voice dissolve into monotonous tone.

"If this is what she really wanted, I don't know. Maybe she really didn't want me to go out from there. She is a liar. No one really knows what she wanted. And it keeps on bugging me why you two of all people had fallen in love to her when you really don't know her in the first place? I don't understand?'' She shrug her shoulders and spun around, her back facing us.

"…'' she mumbled something and starts to walk away.

"Hey Shi―Lady Shinoa!'' And Yuu ran after her, leaving me alone with this clown.

Heavy tension build in the air, I looked down to the freshly new tombstone with Mahiru's name carved in it. Shinya released a long tiredly sigh.

"She's right; no one really knew what Mahiru did wanted.'' I looked at him intensively showing I'm in no mood with his sick jokes, he also looking down at the tombstone with unreadable expression.

"Do you know how she died?'' I asked him.

He shook his head dissapointedly. "Hell no, when I heard the news I really wanted to fly back here. But big brother Kureto that bastard prevents me not to come back if I don't finish my business in Guam. When I finished my deal as far as earlier, he added some extra appointments while I'm still there. He even assured me that I can still make it on time to come back here.

They hid something that only in the family knows about it, and since I'm just an outsider they didn't even give me an exception to know what they've hiding. They kept me away, excusing that I should focus more in my work.''

Even him, who was force to be one of them, making one of them was been keep away from the truth, and used the opportunity while he was on overseas for him not to the truth.

"Is this really what she wanted?'' I voiced my inner thought just like him, Shinoa and from everyone who closed to her.

"Who knows? Hey, want to drink?'' I snorted at his offer.

"I'm tired to drink, and you're tired too. Everyone is tired.'' And I turned around facing my back to him, raising my hand at him waving for a leave. "Maybe next time.'' I headed off.

Today was a tiresome day, I hope this is really what you wanted Mahiru. This time for sure, I wont fail you. I'll look after your sister who seems to know the real reason of your death.

Days past so silently, and everyone was still mournful at her death but slowly accepting from their hearts. Probably me.

Sayuri starts her tutorial to Shinoa for her mind to drift away from Mahiru.

"Surprisingly Master Guren, she is a fast learner and half of the lesson I gave her she already knows. I'm sure by the next opening school she can finally join it." Sayuri gave me her reports on tutoring Shinoa.

"That's good, she's really a Hiiragi.'' I glanced to Shigure on her desk doing some paperworks. "Shigure, how about the requirements for Shinoa's enrollment?''

"Aside from her birth certificate there's a little working on it, but the rest are ready. Right now I'm waiting for the schedule of her entrance exam to notify, I've arranged that she can be on the same year with the young master Yuuichirou if she can pass the exam.'' And I nod at her then looked back to Sayuri standing in front of my desk.

"Keep on tuturing her until she can finally enrolled, please include in your teaching how to speak in public audience and if you can also teach her how to play atleast one music instrument and how to dance with slow music.''

"Yes Master Guren! I can do that!''

Atleast everything is going on smoothly. Just watch Mahiru, your little sister is improving to everything. Just like what you wanted. I don't want her to live in my expection because that department is already reserved for Yuuichirou. I just want her to enjoy the life, to break down the mask that she's been wearing all this time.

And some nights I went out to have a drink with Shinya. Still as ever, he never change. His annoying stupid smile was still there, Mahiru is not here anymore why he's still wearing that smile?

"How is she Guren?'' He asked after he empty his glass.

"She's doing fine though, next opening school she'll be joining it.'' I answered silently, looking down at my glass of alcohol.

Silence engulfs us until I heard light sobs and I looked at my companion. His head was laying down on the counter with his arms crossed of it. He is drunk, an emotional drunker.

"Hahaha…'' then he laughed as he lifted his head to take another shot. There's no visible tears I could see from his face. "I've promised her that when Mahiru and I finally married I can release her freely to her prisonment that no one can stop it. Hahaha…'' as he laugh again. I snorted at his behaviour.

"But just like you wanted, she's already free.'' And I finished my statement with a drink in my shoting glass.

"Not in the way I wanted.'' He sigh. "Not all that it matters. She's out of that place and that make things go better.''

I didn't answer him, he knows it too. He's already drunk, and right now we slowly accepting the truth, accepting the fate what was stored in us in the future.

"And her happiness will come to her.'' And I looked at him from the corners of my eyes.

Happiness? There's no such thing as that. You didn't even have your own happiness.

I decided not to let out my thoughts at him, this poor guy is already broken for his own good, hearing happiness from his mouth makes me want to punch him in the face. I don't even have my own happiness, wishing happiness to someone is like wishing them to welcome your nightmares.

I hardly don't want to admit to everyone and its, ugh, it's so troublesome.

I also wished for her happiness.


	5. Young Escort

A/N: sorry for the delayed chapter |ω･`) enough with the blubbering, here is the new chapter.

PS. I love you violetdreamland, you're the best _(:3 」∠)_

xxxx

Chapter 5: Escort

[ I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday ]

The girl I met nine years ago, always hunting me every night I go to sleep.

She was there, in an empty dark place waiting for someone. Probably waiting for me.

The promise I made for her at that fateful day, was still in words.

Nothing has done, nothing has been made.

I wonder if she's still holding it and I wonder if I can make it true.

"Just wait for me. I'll take you away to them.''

Those words keeps on replaying in my mind for the past nine years and it's screaming at me to make it come true. Now that nine years has passed.

Is she still believing in those words?

Can I make it happen?

Is there any chance that I can see her again?

If it is, then what should I say?

It makes my heart beat fast, for sure I'll make it come true.

Those words I made on that day, I haven't forgotten them. It is the reason why I keep on moving forward, the reason why I keep on working hard.

Even the kind couple who adopted me keeps on wondering why I'm still continuing my scholarship that I have in the orphanage when they can afford my tuition in my studies in a private school were rich students studied and why even I take part time jobs.

And I only smiled at them saying maybe it's part of me to be a hard worker, but the truth is because of her. The girl I met nine years ago, her name is Shinoa.

From a noble family called Hiigari, who hid her existence in the public. I don't know what is their motives but he told me that they made her as a replacement of her sister in case her sister might turned her back at them. As if she was their secret card.

After the incident at the central plaza, where for the second time of my life, where someone take away again something so very important to me that I cried non stop at that night and never leaves my bed for many days. The other kids starts to worry about me, even the workers at the orphanage.

"Mika! You have to go out of your bed! The director said that Mr. Ichinose will be visiting here again!'' Akane complained at me and I didn't budge at my bed when she pulled my shirt.

"Ugh.'' I groaned loudly. I don't want her see my swollen eyes.

And after that, I heard her foot steps going away. I'm still in my bed, covering my body with a blanket and a pillow on my face to cover it. Minutes has passed, I heard another foot steps coming towards me. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. The foot steps were light and calm, it doesn't belong to any kids here nor the workers.

I peek with my one eye from the pillows and I saw a man standing beside my bed. I could only see his black pants and black shoes. I can feel his eyes looking down at me.

"I know you're awake.'' He said calmly. the voice is not from Mr. Ichinose so I remain my position.

"I heard it clearly.'' He continued. ''About what you said on that day.''

What I said on that day? That day, my eyes widened as I realize what he was talking about. I immediately sat up and stare at the man who is not far away from me. He has solemn face as he smiled at me. His smile is different from everyone, a smile in which you can't say that he's not happy and he's not sad either, its just between in them.

"I disappointed everyone. My real family, my family in this orphanage, the new family member who just arrived here, and her on that day.'' I said softly as I sniff.

"But not me, I was amazed on you that day. You made something that even me or anyone couldn't do it. I'm sure what you did is something she can hold on.''

"Can I see her again? I want to play with her again…''

He kneeled his one knee as he crouched down to the side of my bed as he lay his left hand in my back. "Maybe someday, but let me help you fulfilled your promise to her. That's what I can do for now. Will you accept my request?''

"You will? So I can be with her again?''

"That's why I'm here.'' He smiled.

"Who are you?'' I asked curiously.

"I'm her brother who couldn't do anything but to watch. I'm sure she's the one who got disappointed at me. That's why I couldn't promise her. Even if I did, it would still be in words.'' He stood up and I looked up at him as he become more serious. "I'll help you fulfill your promise so it won't stay as words, but for now all we can do is to wait for the right time to come on that day. I'll support your studies in a prestigious school, what you have to do is to reach on top so you can be with her. The stairway to her is so very long and challenging, now are you willing to do anything for her?''

At that time, I wasn't sure but my feelings were stronger than my doubt so I agree with him. And even now that I had my foster family to help me, he still sponsoring my studies in a prestigious school.

"Hey Yuuichirou, you don't have to be sad if you were left alone here in the orphanage. We're still be family!'' I cheerfully said when the news spread out that a kind couple decided to adopt me, it was me and him were left in the orphanage.

"Oh shut it! I tell you no one wants me!'' He grumpily said as he pouted.

"If only I could take you along to me to my soon to be a foster family.'' I sadly said, imagining that Yuu will be left behind makes me remember of her.

"Hey~!'' Yuu shouted that makes me snap out of my thoughts.

"W-what?''

"I said I'll be fine, if I'll be left behind here then so be it. It's not that I can force anyone to adopt me, I can still go on my life without anyone. The world keeps on going so am I!'' He grinned at me that makes me grinned too.

"Un! If you need someone Yuu, you know you can count on me, okay?''

"I already know that Mika, knowing you are a worry-wrat and a mother hen.'' As he laugh at me and I pouted at him as he laugh more.

Actually, Yuuichirou is like a brother to me. He is originally the new child in the orphanage at that time when I mistook Shinoa, maybe without him I wouldn't meet her. So I'm glad of him, especially when I heard the news that someone already adopted him.

The truth is, I'm the last one who left behind in the orphanage. Without knowing, Yuu was the first one someone adopted him and its Mr. Ichinose, the resources of the orphanage foods and money. And lucky him, he will be his heir. What Mr. Ichinose did to him is a challenge if he is worthy enough to be a heir, thinking that he was left alone in the orphanage but the truth it was me.

"Mika, you know that we can afford your tuition in the school you're attending. You can just stop you're scholarship and leave your tuition to us, we've told you this so many times before.'' As my foster mother lay her hand in my shoulder, smiling at me. I smiled at her too.

"Accepting me in your family is nothing I can ask more, so I'm very blessed being here with you and father.'' I sincerely said at her and she hugged me despites my height is so tall than her.

"The last time you were just a boy, and now you are a man. I'm sure all the girls out there will do anything just to be with you.'' And I feint a smile, and she let go of the hug.

"But too bad, you're not interested to any girls so I'm not worried about that.'' And she wink at me. "You're passing on a grocery store right? Can you buy the ingredients of chicken curry? Your father is coming home tonight and I want to cook his favorite food." As she get her purse but I stop her.

"No need, let me buy the dinner tonight and you'll cook it for us." She smiled at me.

"Okay, I'm sure the dinner tonight is so very delicious.''

"I'll be going then.'' As I step outside, I released a heavy breath and taking in the fresh air from the garden.

I'll be meeting him again. We only met once a month when there is a new enrollment of a year from the school.

Every meetings wouldn't last in one hour, he'll just gonna asked if I enjoy in school, about my improving grades and after that he will give it to me the pay check of my tuition and then he'll be off.

But right now, when I received a phone call from his assistant it feels like this isn't like any ordinary meetings. And we'll be meeting in to a resto-bar, usually we meet in a classy restaurant or in a mall but right now it feels like a serious matter will be discuss.

I arrived at the place and there's only three customers I see, one in a corner drinking something alcoholic and a couple near in the covered window sharing a slice of cakes. The place look so cozy but a little bit darker inside, only brown lights were on.

"Hello sir, want a table?'' The waiter asked me nicely.

"Is there a reservation under by the name of Hiiragi Shinya?''

"Ah yes sir! Please follow me.'' As he leads me to the stairs where the private rooms can be reserved for special occasions.

"This room sir.''

"Okay thanks.'' And he leaves, I knock on the door and opened it.

He's already here, in his usually business clothes with a glass in his hands and a bottle of wine in the table.

"Oh Mika! Glad you were here! Come sit down!'' I feel chilly as I see his smile.

"Umm, is there a special occasion?'' I deliberately said, he stopped pouring his glass and he looked at me intently.

"I don't know? Maybe yes? Or no. I'm not really sure but this will be a shocking news for you.'' He shrug his shoulders. "Sit Mika, this will be serious matter.''

And I obediently sitted down across to him, I didn't notice that there was another glass in front of me.

"You want to drink?'' And he poured the glass not so halfway. "I bet you want to drink after you'll hear it.''

I took a deep breath and ask him; ''What kind of shocking news is that Sir Shinya?''

"Shinoa is now in the hands of Ichinose Guren.''

Wha…

"How it did happened?'' Ichinose Guren? Isn't that Yuuichirou's father? The man in the orphanage.

"I see, you're taking this calmly. You know I was kind'a expecting that you'll suddenly stood up in shock and froze for a second, haha…'' he lightly laughed.

"Sir Shinya, I wanted to know how did that happened.''

"Oh I'm sorry, her sister died and things doesn't go well on me. Feels like everything was in set up. When I came home it's already her burial and I just heard that in her will testament that her little sister must be in the care of Guren or if they wont do it, she'll expose how dirty our family is.'' Shinoa's sister? Did he mean his fiencee?

"Isn't it scary? She can still bring down her family even if she's already dead? As expected from a prodigy that came from a silver spoon family.'' And he smell the wine from the glass. "And what's more, that Guren is making Shinoa a fine lady and this upcoming opening school year he'll enroll her to the school were you studied.''

"You're not messing at me are you?'' I suddenly stood up, that he even smiled more and its making me irritated.

"Why Mika? Are you that happy to finally see her again or you're just upset because how about your promised to her? Listen, i'm not messing you.'' He smirk and drink his wine.

Is it true? Sir Shinya isn't the one who joke around… if she's already in the hands of Mr. Ichinose then… then she's finally out of that hell, then she can finally see the world, then she is free…

Then, what about me? How about my promise? Isn't need it anymore? Then, it will stay forever as a word?

I looked to Sir Shinya who is looking at me with his amusing smile, I sitted down as I closed my eyes.

Then, this is already quits. He will stop the scholarship because it will be pointless from now on, everything from the start is just a failure.

"Mikaela, she is finally freed in that attic. Now its make it easier for you to be with her, isn't that what you want?'' My eyes opened and I looked at him, he wear a serious expression that I can even see the disapoinment in his eyes looking at me.

"I'm sorry.'' I muttered.

"Huh? Why are you saying sorry for?'' His eyebrows knitted together, I looked away from him.

"For disapointing you.''

"Look here Mika, aren't you happy that she's finally free? Isn't this what you want?''

"But my promise?'' And I looked back at him.

He strained a smile as he poured his glass of wine.

"The last time I saw her was at the burial of her sister, she grown to a fine young lady. She had the resemblance of her sister when I looked at her from the side view but there is something about her that she don't know how to handle it, and maybe you can help her.'' He stared at the wine, as if looking at his reflection.

"If you're worried about the promise you made, then all you have to do is make another one with her. This time it wont be just one-sided, the feelings must be mutual. If isn't then it will just a merely words, like what happened to my promises I made in the past.''

He was still smiling but I can see the sadness in his eyes, he must knew what i'm feeling right now because he already experience this kind of things.

"You're not a disapointment Mika, if there was that would be me.'' And I met his eyes.

When I came home that night I nearly forgot to go at the grocery store, but gladly mother called me on the phone to add something at the ingredients.

We ate dinner at that night while father is sharing his exploration at the sea that he saw something like a mermaid, while mother was laughing at his childish story. And my mind went something far way from the reality.

"Mika?'' As father snip his finger.

"Hu―what?''

"You're not listening to my story~!'' Father whined out.

"Hehe…''

"Are you alright? Is something troubling you? You've been spacing out.'' Mother put down her spoon.

"Ah no, I'm just excited for the new opening school year.'' I somehow managed to reasoned.

"Speaking of school, while you were out earlier. Your mom and I decided that you can use the car for going to the school.'' Father said happily.

"Really? You don't need it to do that. Maybe give it to Mom so she can use it to go to her work.''

"Well Mika, you're the one will be my driver so you can have the car.'' Mother laughingly said

"Well, that's been settled. Tomorrow you'll going to get your license.'' And the dinner continued peacefully with father's childish story.

Sir Shinya didn't called off the scholarship, he says it will last until I graduate from college, so he'll be expecting more from me. Not just the promise but for my future as well.

I didn't heard anything from Yuuichirou either especially when there's a vacation, he said something that Mr. Ichinose will skin him alive so I didn't bother him too.

Probably he already met Shinoa. I wonder how she looks right now, I wonder if they are getting a long to each other. Haha, but its Yuu. All the girls in the orphanage couldn't stand him, except for Akane. Well Akane had this kind of aura that you'll obey her even if she is wrong or not.

And here I am, still looking back at the past.

I wonder if things go well, I wouldn't want my promise at that day to stay in words. I want to make it them come true.

"Mika! Hey, how was your vacation?'' Yuuichirou purposely bump my shoulder.

"Too long that I miss the school.''

"What?! For me its too short, what so fun about school.''

And I sigh at this, he never liked school lessons.

"Ugh~ I hope we can be in the same classroom so that I can copy your home works.'' He grinned like an idiot.

"Well too me, I hope its not.'' And I immediately covered my ears.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? You're hurting my wounded heart.''

"Hurry up, the opening ceremony will start.'' And I ran away first.

"Hey― wait for me!''

And we arrived at the gym just on time, the principal was just doing his speech.

"From the third year representative who got the highest score on the entrance exam which a transferry student, please give her a round of applause for her opening remarks Ms. Shinoa Hiiragi.''

Some students gives some loud gasp, the others were whispering to each other, and the others gives her an applause as she makes her entrance on the stage, just like what Sir Shinya said. She grown up to a beautiful girl, her lavender hair looks like silky if you could touch it, her round eyes is so cute, the shape of her face, everything about her is so natural.

Shinoa…

But there is something about her that I cannot name it.

"A pleasant morning to everyone, today is the another page of our school life…'' the way she speak, the emotion in her eyes, even if she's doing the opening remarks, it didn't reflect to what she had saying. As if the words that came out from her mouth is just like a recorded.

"Ughh, that's why I told her to just decline doing the opening remarks. But that Guren provoked her to do it just like a practice, and look at now! She was like practicing normally!'' And I looked to Yuu who is complaining at my side.

"What?'' He asked.

"Nothing.'' And I looked back to where Shinoa is, she is totally different from the smiling Shinoa I met nine years ago.

Come to think of it, when I found her at the fountain she had that kind of expression just like now.

"Mika, I'll just go ahead.''

"Where are you going?''

"To the stage, I'll going to look for her classroom together.''

"Her?'' I dumbfoundedly asked, I knew whose her is he talking about.

"Actually it's her, that girl on stage. Well, its a long story. I'll introduce you to her, later!'' And with that he dash off.

I wonder what kind of reaction she have if she see me, but the question is 'did she still remember me?' That would be awkward, and I can't let her see me if I'm still nothing just like those days.

I promised to myself that if I'll see her now then that would be the time to make my promise come true.

And I've decided, that I'll be watching her from afar for now.

Searching for my classroom went so easily, and they didn't become my classmate because it was something that Shinoa is a Hiiragi so she should be in the star section and Yuu saying something like he can't leave her alone. I don't know what that mean but i'm sure Yuu would fill me up.

And that was I thought, it's already been weeks and Yuu was filling his duty as her butler. Seriously he was so short tempered, when he wants to complain or whine he'll just magically appear on my side.

Ta-da! He easily found me here in the library, I put down the book and looked at him tiredly.

"What's with the long face Yuu?''

He didn't answer, instead he lay down his head to the table.

"Let me guess, its Shinoa again right?''

"Ughh, you don't have to be so blunt about it. Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. Why can't she be just like the other girls? Easily lured out when I say I'll treat her sweets but… ughh!''

"What did you do this time again?''

"Haa?! I didn't do anything!'' As he lift his head looking at me irratately. "I just want her to attend the classes because she keeps on staying in the art clubroom.''

"Art club? Maybe she likes to draw?''

"Oh yeah, she keeps on scribbling in her sketchbook. In her room, in the garden, here in school even in the car.''

"I wonder what kind she draw.''

"Nahh, just some bugs or flowers something like that.''

That would be cute.

And Yuuichirou made a horror face as he looked at me.

"What?'' Raising my left eye brow.

Did I said that aloud? The word cute?

"Is that you Mika? Hey! Where's the real Mika?! What did you do to him?'' And he grab my collar raising his voice.

"What? We're in the library remember?'' Trying not to be annoyed at him as I push him to his chair letting go the collar of my shirt.

And now he was having his idiotic smile plastered on his face, and I don't like that smile.

"What so funny?''

"Nothing, just thinking that Mikaela is also a man who can say cute to girls.'' And now he was grinning and I sigh. "This is my first time hearing you compliment to a girl, well for me she's just sometimes too stubborn and childish.''

"Childish?''

"Aren't you interested about her?''

"What do you mean?''

He gives me this kind of look like 'don't you lie to me Mika'

"Well, she's a Hiiragi.'' I shrug my shoulders, every students and teachers were talking about her even the janitors. And Yuu became silent as he stares at the piling books in the table.

"That's what everyone was talking about her, because she's a Hiiragi she will be like this and she will be like that and everything.'' He suddenly stood up.

"Hey, Mika will you come with me to her to open her eyes that it doesn't matter if she's a Hiiragi or not as long as she have friends like us then everything will be fine.''

I stood up too, to match his height that i'm taller than him. I smirk at him.

"Then one of us will fall in love to her then we will fight over her, then what happen next? I don't want something like that Yuu.''

"Huh?! What are you talking about? How can you be sure that we will fall in love to her? You haven't meet her and I'm sure that I will never fall in love to her, she's like a… a family to me. That's all.''

I lay my hand in his shoulder and made a poker face.

"Who knows Yuuichirou, if I'll fall in love to her then I will do everything to be with her.''

"Haa?! What's gotten into you? Is this the side effect of your hobby of too much reading a novel?''

"Hahaha… you're too easy to mess up, then I'll be going then. I had a part time job.'' And I waved my hand to leave, leaving him in confuse state.

Did I really fall in love to Shinoa? Will I fall in love to her? I'm not sure but what are these feelings called?

Making a detour way, I stopped at the art club room's door. I saw her silhouette facing to a white canvas, please wait just a little more.

And I leave the place.

Days passed just like that, I only secretly watched her from the shadows. Just like what Yuu said, she keeps on occupying at the art club and never attends her class except if there is a quiz or exam and she still got high score. And when Yuu mention about meeting Shinoa I'll just make an excuse and sometimes lame excuses.

Christmas is coming and I want something to give at her but whatever I'll give it is not enough, I want something that even the money could not buy it.

I save all my allowance and money for something in the future, I don't know what to do with these but I know a time will come I'm needing this.

In new year, I only wished for her happiness and health.

In valentines day… I bought a chocolate. I want to give it to her but how?

I received some chocolates to some other girls that I don't even know their names.

"Where you heading Mika? School time is over.'' Yuu suddenly appears beside me as I walked to wherever to just go him away.

"Library.'' I lamely said.

"Hey, how many chocolate did you received today?'' As he elbowed me to the sides.

"Times two than you received today.''

"You lied.'' He pouted. "I just wanted you to know that bastard Kimizuki is challenging us again in the basketball, so I'm expecting you at the practice tomorrow. Later! I'll be recruiting Narumi too.'' And he dash off, that Yuu always making decisions without my consent.

Now he's not here, I'm going to go where Shinoa is but the question is how would I give this to her without letting her know.

When I arrive at the art club nobody was there, even Shinoa so I'll leave this chocolate beside her pencils with a card from the friend of her in the past. I wonder if she likes sweets?

Maybe this is the right time to let her know that I'm still existing, I just couldn't wait anymore. What am I waiting for is she's already this near? Sometimes I don't know what's been going on me lately.

It so weird…

At that night I couldn't sleep, thinking if she reads the card. What if it was Yuu who found the chocolate and reads the letter? My heart stop beating for a second. I wish it was Shinoa who found it, if not this will be a huge mess.

I turn to my side, looking at my study table.

What would Yuuichirou will do if her lady is gone?

What would it be Sir Shinya's reaction?

What would happen to Mr. Ichinose if the treasure of his deceased lover will disappeared?

Would my foster family will be disapointed at me?

But its up to Shinoa's decision, I can worry later. If she'll say no then all this worries will fade away.

I hope tomorrow's weather will be good.

XxX

Yuu has been texting me last night about appearing in the practise at the basketball club and I just ignore his text. I turn off the phone and steadily standing here in front of the fountain at the central opened plaza, wearing my school uniform. I wear my uniform but I didn't go to school, I'm certainly waiting for someone.

Eight o'clock, nine o'clock, ten, eleven, twelve, one o'clock pm. I'm still standing here. I turned around ready to leave when someone;

"MIKA!" I froze when I heard the voice, the owner of the voice stopped behind me gasping for air.

I smiled as turn around facing her.

"Shinoa." She straightened up meeting my eyes, its really her.

"You're Mika aren't you?" Her brows knitted together.

"Hn."

"Then why you didn't approach me when we're only schoolmates, knowing that I'm going to the same school as you? I've always wanted to meet you…" she lowered her head, looking down to the ground.

"I'm sorry, nine years took me so long. When I see you at the opening ceremony I was so happy for you, remembering my promised I made to you makes me realized that I haven't done anything so I didn't approach you. I'm sorry."

And I held her soft small yet delicate hands to mine and she raised her head looking at me.

"Now I'm here, I'm ready to fulfill that promise."

"You will?"

"Hn, where do you want to go? I'll take you everywhere you wanted."

"Right now?"

"Hn, forget everything and let's enjoy this day."

"Then let's go to a beach! I want to see the ocean, the sandy shore, the waves, shells and everything!"

"If that's what you want we will go now." Grasping her hand firmly.

She smiled, a pure smile just like she did nine years ago when I tell her to smile.

"Thank you for not forgetting about the promise, I held it within me until now."

"Don't thank me, I haven't done anything yet."

"But meeting you again is enough for me, you give me something that I can hold on, feels like you filled something here." As she lay her other hand to her chest.

And I lay my other hand to my chest. "And you give me something too.''

She smiled, a very beautiful smile that I will never get tired of staring.


	6. Faithful Attendant

Chapter 6: Callant Valiant

[ A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future.]

I see her, in the corner of the kitchen. Always crying and crying. Whenever I approach her, she will just growled at me like a lion shouting that I should go back in bed. I wanted to do something, but I don't know. I'm just a kid at those times.

I couldn't do anything, even if I wanted too. No one can save her, except the one she loved. My father. My father isn't here with us anymore in this world. But she can't accept the truth that he was long gone now, really gone and never coming back.

And there was a time I woke up in a middle of the night, smokes coming in to my nostril that I alarm immediately when I saw the thick smokes coming in my room. I went out to my room following the smokes where it came from and it leads me to the kitchen. I saw my mother standing in front of the stove burning some clothes, looks like father's clothes.

She is laughing like a villain who succeed from an evil plan yet at the same time her eyes were crying.

''M-mother...'' I horrifyingly said, she slowly turned around to me gripping the knife in her hands. The dark circles under her eyes made her even more mad, especially the eyeliner coming down from her eyes from tears made her look more miserable.

''If he wont come back to us, then we will come after him!

Everything went black.

I gasped, waking from a nightmare. My shirt is drenched in sweat and my heart beats so fast, pounding so very loudly looks like in a few seconds it will jump out from my ribcage.

I took a deep breath and heave a long sigh. I'm having this kind of dreams when I was in the orphanage and they all stopped when Guren took me in his house. That nightmare was my childhood memories and recently this dreams have been haunting me every night ever since Shinoa was gone missing.

Its already one week past, and Guren's men haven't any news of it.

I didn't come to the school, thus the news of Shinoa's disappearance wont spread like wildfire, instead we make an excuse that Shinoa and I went to Shibuya for business plan. We don't want the Hiiragi's to know that their secret tressure has been gone missing,

It's really a big mystery, aside from us,

Shinoa didn't knew anyone. She didn't even made any friends in the school, always staying in that art club.

Where could have she gone? After the valentines day, she went earlier than me in the school. When I arrive, I check on her in the art club. She was there, starring blankly at the canvas.

"Hey!'' She startled when I greet her.

"It's just you, don't scare me like that.''

"What are you thinking? You seem deep in thoughts.'' As I went towards her. She didn't answer me but instead she started to draw the outline of her sketch.

"Don't you have practice today?''

"Yeah at nine o'clock break, and Mika isn't answering my texts. I wonder whats got into him?'' Of course Shinoa didn't know, and she didn't answer me. She knew Mika but they didn't even had the chance to meet each other and I've always wanted them to meet each other.

Later on the practice, Mika didn't even appeared. What's got into him? He seems putting his distance away from me, but I understand, he is busy with his part time job, and studies while me just being chill.

When the lunch came, I went to check on her and also to bring her lunch. She ate silently at that time the way she used to be, and after that I went back for the class leaving her alone in the art club. The lunch was so very quiet, looks like her mind were wondering somewhere else. When the last period finished, I went back to her but only found she wasn't there.

I walked to her usually spot, gazing at her master piece. A woman that looks like her, smiling as she held the flowers in her hands, the woman who is the semi-reflica of her.

Her deceased sister.

"Oh, Yuuichirou.'' I looked to Yoichi who stands in the door. "You haven't gone home?''

"Ah, no. I'm here to get Shinoa so we can go home now.'' As I looked to the sketch again, admiring her skills. Her sister looked so alive in the canvas.

"Huh? I thought you and Miss Shinoa had already gone home earlier.'' And I gazed back at him.

"What do you mean?'' I asked quizzically. Feels like goosebumps.

"Miss Shinoa left earlier, she didn't say anything though. I thought she was going to the rest room but minutes later she didn't came back so I thought something might happen and you take her home.'' As he shrug his shoulders.

"Wha― I haven't heard anything.'' And I get my phone in my pocket, scrolling the name of Ms Sayuri and dialed it away.

Come on, pick it up…

'Currently I'm busy, if you get this voice mail probably I was in a meeting. Just leave a message.'

Ugh! Somewhat I could feel start panicking. I didn't bother leaving a voice message, I just ended the call and looked to Yoichi.

"We need to get home, Kimizuki is waiting in the car.'' I stated calmly as I closed my eyes.

"W-What? How about Miss Shinoa? Isn't she's with you?'' He also starts to worry.

"Fine, you go home first and I'll search her here in school and you'll look for her in the state.''

"Be sure to call if you found her.'' And I rush past through him to start looking for Shinoa.

Where could have she been?

I stopped in front of the girl's comfort room, hesitating to go inside. No. But she might be there. I looked to the left and to the right, the hallway is deserted so I didn't think twice to go inside. And so, there was no one.

I run outside, thinking where could she possibly be. I ran to the hallways going to the library. Upon arriving the place, there was some students doing their business. I breathe out and starts to look for her in every row of book shelves, looking to every corner but still no signs of her. Maybe she's not here, I left the library with a bit of disappointed.

Maybe she is in the classroom, and I walked to the destination of my classroom or our classroom is but the room was already locked and it's impossible if she's still inside. I rest my forehead in the classroom door, I'm exhausted to all the running and walk.

Yet, my heart isn't calming, it's beating is so loud and fast. I have this strange feeling forming in my stomach and I can't even name it. What is wrong with me? I sigh and headed down to the hallways. I even made a run tour to the whole school, just to find her. Even the roof top, off-limit rooms, the fields of every sports club and every science garden. I couldn't find her everywhere.

I realized it's already dark. When I was about to pick my phone to know for the time Ms Yukimi was already calling me.

''Yoichi told me everything, have you found her?'' Came with her silent and serious voice in the other line.

"I…. haven't found her I'm still here in the school."

"I see, Kimizuki will be there to pick you up. Your father heard everything and he wants your presence." She ended the call.

I released the breath that I haven't known that I've been holding, it was better to received a call from Ms Sayuri than Ms Yukimi, she scare the hell out of me.

So Guren already knew it, I swallowed a saliva as I imagine his two horns growing out from his head, I'm so dead.

When I came home at that night, with Kimizuki, my hands starts to sweat. There, in his office desk, two hands resting his chin and his eyes were covered down by his bangs.

"G-Guren…"

"Do you have any clue where could have she gone?" I gulped when I heard his voice. I've never seen him so serious before, except the time at Lady Mahiru's burial, Shinoa's big sister.

"I don't know, I'm sorry if I didn't do anything. I was so sure that I had to check on her every break since she refused to attend any class but I didn't expected that she'll just disappear like that.'' I started to rumbling reasons as he only watched me silently and I shut my mouth.

Standing straight, even my line shoulder where too stiff,

"I didn't do my duty properly because I let this happened." And I bow in front of him in 90 degrees. "This is all my fault Father."

"Lift your head Yuuichirou." Calmly he said and I did what he said. "I had my men searching for her everywhere where she might be now, go back to your room to have a rest. I know you have made your part and leave the search for me, don't blame yourself that this all happened because you didn't do your duty properly. I know even in her sleep, you still watch her to wake her up if she's having a nightmare." Sheesh, he even know about that?! I looked away to him, to hide my embarrassment.

"But still… I want to help for the search…." I just couldn't sit and wait for the news.

"I know you want to help, but it's the best for you to rest first. If we can't find her until morning then you can't go to school either. We can't let the others know that she was gone missing, we don't know what would her family will do if they knew that there precious tressure had disappear from. Aside from you, Sayuri, Yukimi, Kimizuki and Yoichi will never speak of this to anyone, even in the maids they must never knew any of this." He straighten up as he lean to his leather chair. "For now we should wait for the reports of my men, go back to your room.''

With that I left him in the office heading back to my room. And even until now that it was already one week have passed and there still no news of her.

I didn't contact anyone from the school so they wont be suspicious on me, even Kimizuki and Yoichi didn't even come to school too. Since Kimizuki is my driver it was expected that he would come along with me and Shinoa to Shibuya and also Yoichi who usually like Ms Yukimi who is so very organized about time and schedules.

I lift my body up from my bed, looking to the windows and it's still dark outside.

What time is it? My head is so foggy from that nightmare, I stood up to get some cold water from the kitchen. The hallways is so dark and long. Guren send back the maids and servants to their own home to have their early vacation, to avoid spreading about the news of the disappearance of Shinoa.

When I opened the door to the kitchen, I saw Guren settled in the table with something alcoholic bottle and a glass. His eyes pierced as he looked at me, I walk towards where is the refrigerator to get a cold pitcher then walked to where the glasses have piled. I pour down a cold water to my glass and drank it as I watch Guren who didn't even bother to continue his drink.

Afterwards, I found myself sitting across to him in the table's chair.

"Why are you drinking at this kind of hour?" I asked, starring at the alcohol.

"To relief stress." He answered calmly.

I sigh to his answer. "Drinking something like that isn't gonna help the situation."

He poured the glass not so half full and slide the glass in front of me.

"When you taste it, you'll understand." I only stared at it.

"After this you'll stop drinking now?''

He snorted. "Okay, if you'll empty this last shot."

I stared at him knowing that he is so damn serious, though I couldn't see that he is drunk. And I gave up, maybe drinking this isn't bad for me.

I gulped down the alcohol in one motion, feels like my throat is burning like hell.

And Guren stood up.

"I'll be going to my room now, I hope you won't stumble your way." He said with a smirk and walk away.

Feels like hot that I want to tear down my shirt, I stood up suddenly that I lost my balance. My sight is going in circle. Shit, is this the effect of the alcohol? But that Guren almost empty the bottle and he could still walk straight? I can't believe it.

Slowly, I walk away to where my room is but the damn hallway is too long that even my leg feels woobly every step I take. I paused, trying to focus my blur sight.

Ugh, where am I? Before I realized, I was already in front of a familiar door.

I opened it and search for the light switch, when I finally found it I pressed it to turn on the lights. I shield my eyes from the radiant light pierced through me and my sight adjusted to the bright room. I walked to where the bed is, expecting a figure sleeping soundly but I found it none. There was no one in the bed, I looked to the veranda, expecting a silhouette of her sipping a tea but I found empty.

Everywhere I look, I could see her. My body feels heavy, without second thoughts I plopped down to the bed. I could still smell her faint fragrance in the pillows as I closed my eyes thinking of her.

Shinoa, where could have you been now? Are you safe? Did you eat properly? Did you still sketching in your sketch book? Did you find your self? Did you feel happy now? Did you feel sad? Just come home please….

Everything was so very vivid, the memories came flow in. The first time I met her is we were like cats and dogs never get along to each other.

She never smile, nor showing any emotions.

The first time I heard her cry was at the burial of her sister, her brother was there for her so I couldn't do anything. When we came home at that time she was silent all day and night. She even refused to eat anything, when the morning come I decided to bring her breakfast in her bed.

I entered her room, she was already sitting in her coffee table located near her veranda. She didn't even bother looking at me when I fake a cough. Oh well, I just put the tray in her table as I sat across from her chair.

"You won't grow tall if you don't eat." She just stared at me with her empty eyes and I stared back at her. Her eyes seems to deep to reach for, like she was searching for something that she didn't know.

I released a sigh, admitting defeat in her staring contest.

"You know what? If you don't eat right now even a just a little that Guren will grow two horns in his head like a demon, and its scarry you don't want that to happen that right?" And she only stared at me.

Right. I sigh again.

"Okay, if you eat I'll buy you something you want. Deal?"

"Then buy me happiness." And I almost fell from my chair hearing that from her. I couldn't believe her.

"Happiness isn't something you can buy." I muttered under my breath.

"Then how can I have happiness?" She asked as her eyes starts to form storms within but the calmness remains in her voice.

"Happiness is something you made, that makes you satisfied, or from the people around you, to smile with no regret or from someone who can give them something that makes feel you happy or happiness." Seriously, I'm not sure.

"Then give me happiness."

"Wha― Listen, ugh!" I groaned, why is she making everything so complicated?!

And she was still looking at me with those eyes.

"I'm not sure if I can give you happiness, it's just…." Ughh! I want to tear my hair right now. I composed myself as I looked at her, matching her gaze.

"Okay, if you want happiness then I'll give it to you." As I found my confidence.

"How?" She asked again, her voice is so empty, no hint of doubt or malice. She wasn't even confused at her own question.

"After you eat your breakfast." And with that I starts to feel unease.

Happiness? How can I give it to her? I don't know, there's not even a single clue around of what should I do. Happiness is like coming from the one you love, just like my mother who really loves father. But when he died, my mother break down in loneliness forgetting she even had a son left to her.

I shut my eyes tight, trying to forget all those memories.

I don't even know what happiness is, Guren said it has something to do with love. But how can I give happiness if I don't know the true definition of love? Whatever, thinking deeply of this makes my head ache.

After she ate her breakfast I brought her to the garden.

"Where is happiness in here Yuu?" Sarcastically she said.

"Umm…. This place." Sitting down to the grass as I crossed my legs, she sit beside me with a confused face.

"I feel calm here." As I lay down to my back closing my eyes, I could feel her eyes looking down on me.

Seconds passed by, I grab her down to lay next to me. She yelp when I purposely to be on top of her, this is kind'a awkward that our face were only inch away. I stared down in her round eyes who knows what kind of emotions she held inside.

Her cute nose, her rosy lips quivered in a line, that I could tell that she was pretty in this kind of angle to view below me. And my eyes, I can't stop starring at her lips that I want to…

.

.

.

And I lay next to her before I could do something that I might regret it, gazing at the sky, trying to burn the image of her before I might get crazy.

Shit, my heart won't stop pounding so fast. The hell is wrong with me and I didn't dare to gaze back at her.

A few moments of silence, someone yelled in the distance.

"Yuu!" And I crouch to watch Yoichi coming this way.

"What is it?"

"Ms Sayuri was looking for you and for Miss Shinoa, she said she'll be helding a dance lesson for Miss Shinoa." And we both look at her as she raise herself up to a sitting position. And I offer my hand for her to stand up, when she put her hand into my palm I grasped it tightly as we both stood up.

"Where is she?" I asked him.

"In her office."

And we all go to Ms Sayuri's office, and the dance lesson started. Why am I even doing here? This is not my forte.

"Yuuichirou!" As she smack my head, I grumpily scratched it, Ms Sayuri couldn't held it any longer to hit me.

"I-I don't see the reason to take this dance lesson!" I muttered lowly.

"You need to! This is important for every business party and you are the only heir here! Just don't step on Miss Shinoa's foot! Can't you see? You're hurting her." And I looked at her.

She sigh defeately.

"I can't do this either." She shrug her shoulders. "With a careless partner like him, I better lock up in my room." And she walked to the couch and sat down and Ms Sayuri glared at me.

"Okay, Yoichi you dance with Miss Shinoa and you 'young master' you dance with me."

"Ahahaha~" Shinoa laughed, a teasing laugh and we all looked at her.

"I tell you Ms Sayuri you don't want to, that guy had the feet of dinosaur." And she laugh more, I narrowed my eyebrow at her obviously annoyed.

"Shut up." I muttered lowly, Ms Sayuri might hit me again.

"Okay, okay let's resume our lesson." Ms Sayuri announced it and Shinoa didn't bother to stand up. Yoichi walks to her, and offered his hand to her.

"May I?" He said with a gentleness, fuck off Yoichi! You're being too gentleman. Well, that's how he is.

Shinoa only stared at him and then accepts his hand, and slowly they started to position waiting for the signal to start dancing as they looked into me.

"Ahem!" And I was startled when Ms Sayuri clears her throat.

"Ah yeah." And held her hand to start dancing, I'm much more taller than her in a few inches. Maybe I couldn't dance properly with Shinoa because of our height differences, but I want to dance with her. Oh, come on this is just a lesson. We might actually dance in the center of some business party.

"Always remember, when you dance; you must look to your partner's eye not in the others." Ms Sayuri strictly said and I looked at her in the eyes, damn. Why I couldn't take my eyes away from Shinoa?

When everything goes smoothly in the lesson, Shinoa suddenly stopped dancing.

"Miss Shinoa? Is there something wrong?" Yoichi asked, her head were facing down that I couldn't see her face. Yoichi tried to touch her in the shoulder but she just step back when his hands reached her.

"W-what's wrong?" And he starts to worry.

She just stood frozen there and I started to walk to where she is.

"Hey," as I started to call upon her, but she was still not moving and I put my left hand in her right shoulder and she lift her head, meeting her gaze. Her eyes were seem too deep and empty, I couldn't see them, couldn't see her in them.

She removed my hand in her shoulder and walk passed through me, to where Ms Sayuri stands.

"I'm sorry, I think this is not gonna work." She said plainly, no voice stutering, no wavering. She said that just like saying 'the weather is not gonne be good'.

Ms Sayuri couldn't react after she said that and walk away, after a few moment she breathed.

"Let's call it a day." She said and fixed her things in the table.

And I followed Shinoa to where she gone off, to her usual place, her room.

"I'll come in." I knock on the door and opened it, it wasn't lock and she doesn't lock her door.

I found her, laying down on her bed, hugging a pillow.

"What happened? Is there something wrong?" I started to asked because the atmosphere around us is so heavy.

She didn't answer, at a time like this I know she won't talk. She'll just be silent all day without talking. I sigh. This won't work so I crouched down beside her bed and leaned it.

I'll just wait for her to talk.

To entertain myself in this silent atmosphere, I played to my phone. Texting Mika might be disturbing him in his summer job, I don't want to bother him sometimes to my childish act.

"Hey, Shinoa." I called to her but still no answer. "Do you want to go somewhere? Guren might say yes."

"It might be you're the one who wants to go somewhere and you're just using me as an excuse so your father might say yes." Oh yes, the same Shinoa is back.

"You seem good in dancing, why did you stop?"

"…." She didn't answer again and I sigh, here we go again. There must be something bothering her.

"Hey…. Shinoa~ still there?"

"…."

"Shinoa~" obviously I'm trying to annoy her.

"…."

"Lady Shinoa of Hiiragi."

"…."

"I wonder if she really want to talk about it."

"…." Still no answer and I'm tired of it.

I stood up.

"It's better if you just let everything out and cry.'' And I sit beside her in the bed, slightly tapping her shoulders and stood up to leave.

When I reach the door to open, I heard shuffling sound of fabric and something tug in my shirt's back. I turned around and found her, tugging at my shirt.

"…." Because of our height differences, I couldn't see her eyes as her head were looking down. But I can feel between her silence that she wanted to say something but she can't. I held her chin to look up in me, and her eyes held with so much emotion that's been wanting to release but held back with who knows how long.

"I…. I remember something…." Her lips quivered as I slowly letting go of her chin.

"Is it good or bad?"

"I―I don't know, but at that time…. Mahiru said that…. happiness never exists, but surely…. at that time there is happiness in a short minute and…."

"Shinoa." She's lost in words, and she stopped when I called her name.

I opened my palm in front of her, offering my hand at her for her to held. She give me a quizically face.

"Can I have a dance with you without a music?" I smiled at her warmly.

"Huh?"

"Just take my hand." Hesitately, she put her hand into mine and I lead her to a spacious part of her room and I put my other hand in her hips.

And we dance slowly, slowly enough not to trip her, not to step in her feet, not to lost as I straightly gaze in her eyes as she gazed back in me. I twirl her around and I met her eyes once again, this time her eyes is bringing some fragments of hopes that will lead her to happiness someday.

My heartbeat is rapidly pounding in my chest when she smiled at me, as if it was enough to be the music of our dance. I've wanted to make her smile more, genuine smile from her heart just like now. She is beautiful when she smiled like that and it makes me want to protect it.

I suddenly stopped followed by her, I starred in to her as if I was lost in her eyes. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead to hers. I breathed in.

"You're here Shinoa, don't ever think that you're still in that cold dark place. I'll be here, everyone is here for you. We are now a family even if not by blood, and family stays together as a shoulder to lean on. Don't forget that." I whispered out for her.

She didn't move nor make a sound, we stayed like that in a few moments. Letting the time passed by.

"WAKE UP STUPID YUUICHIROU!" and I jolted up from the bed when someone pulled my leg.

"Wha― it's just you stupid Kimizuki. What do you want?!" I yawn as I rub my eyes. My sight is swirling in circles.

"We've been looking everywhere for you this morning, and I thought you just escape last night to look for Lady Shinoa and here you are! Sleeping in her bed…. What a disgraceful sight."

"Shut up." I muttered.

"By the way, Master Guren was waiting fo― wait a minute!" He sniff in the air coming close his head to me.

"Go away." I cursed as I push him away to me.

"You stink of an alcohol, since when did you learn to drink?" And I immediately smelled my shirt and my breath. Yeah, I remember last night what happened.

I sigh, that's why I feel like my body is heavy and my head hurts.

"Anyway, your father is waiting you in the breakfast looks like he wants to discuss something. So hurry up and take a bath, he's expecting a visitor this early." And he leaves after that mentioning about making a tea for hang over.

A visitor huh? Early this morning? Who could it be?

The atmosphere is chilly, Guren was busy reading the daily newspaper and the man across to me was busy putting a mayonase in his bread and while me I couldn't have the guts to drink my tea if that person is here.

"Oh, by the way Guren do you have a grape jam?" He asked nochalantly.

"No, we didn't." And I sigh, how come my pressence is needed here?

"If you want, you can buy on your own.''

"Don't be so harsh on me." He pouted like a child and he looked at me with a glint in his eyes as he smile or did he just smirk? Oh shit I don't like this.

"Then if you want, can I take your son with me as I join the search squad too?" He asked innocently and I gulp hearing at it as I sneaked a look to Guren.

"Why?" As he put down the newspaper and drank his coffee.

"Oh come on! It's only natural you know? They've almost spent each other for almost a year and half as a butler and a fair lady, I'm sure something blossoms more than that." And my eyes widened with an embarassment.

"So, Yuuichirou you want to come with him?" Guren asked me as I looked to him.

"You'd let me finally search for her?"

"That's what you've want it right?"

Of course it is! I didn't answer though because obviously I really want too.

"Then that's been settled, let's go?" Sir Shinya said suddenly.

"Right now?" I asked.

"Time is gold."

After that breakfast we did really leave with his red sports car, looks like this man is in hurry.

"Where are we going?" I suddenly asked because the road were taking seems familiar for me.

"To confirm my doubts."

I don't get it, seems like he knows something. Oh well, he had his connections and sources after all he is a Hiiragi.

"Why did you take me to search for her?" That's what I've been want to know, I'm just curious.

"Hmnnn…. Why? Maybe when we find her it's easier for her to decide."

"What do you mean?" As I looked to him in the driver's seat.

"I don't know, I had a feeling but I'm not sure. So we will going to his house to confirm all my doubts." He knows something I can tell it. "When I heard the news, I made a preparation to leave my work to look for her. This news must not reach to Kureto or to Father I don't know what will happen but I'm sure it will be terrible for her."

That's what Guren have been doing to, not to spread this word to Hiiragi or else….

Hey…. I know this place! The car stopped in front of a familiar house.

"What are we doing here?" I looked to Sir Shinya as I felt my hair in the back of my neck stood up.

"You'll see." He unbuckled the seatbelt and opened the car's door and went out. I followed him too as he ring the door bell.

A small woman opened the door, Mika's poster mother.

"Hello Mrs. Krul." I greated as I saw her.

"Oh, Yuuichirou and…." He stopped as he looked to my companion.

"Mister Shinya Hiiragi." She said.

"Hello madam." He greated as he smiled.

"If you're looking for Mikaela, he haven't gone home yet…." As she looks down for a moment and looked up at us and she offered us to have a sit in the living room.

"Do you want a juice or a tea?" She offered nicely to us.

"Ah no thanks madam, we are here for Mika." And we both looked at him. Seriously, what are we doing here? Mika is in the school obviously, why come here instead?

"Oh if it's Mika…." She suddenly drop sitting in the stool. "You tried contacting him right?"

"I tried but his phone is out of coverage, so I thought if I could come here personally."

Huh? What's the connection between sir Shinya and Mika?

"It's been one week he haven't gone home now, a―and we are worried where could he have gone. We tried calling the place of his work place but also them didn't know anything they thought if he'll be resigning or if he had a cold, when two days have past we reported in the police but since there is no news they thought it's a teenage rebellion they'll come back in no time. We even tried to contact the orphanage but still no news and you too Yuuichirou we tried to call you but we can't contact you."

I couldn't say anything, so Mika is missing too? Did he run away? But why would he do that? Mika loves his family.

"He can't be running away from us, we didn't do anything bad to him, we even treated him as our own son so there is no way he'll be running away. Maybe he was caught up in some trouble then couldn't come home…."

"Since when did the last time he is here?" Sir Shinya asked.

"He was here in February 15, he even gave me chocolates in valentines day."

Something is making a connection to my brain. He was gone missing after valentines day, so Shinoa is but…. It is because why he didn't appear in the early basketball practise in that day? But at that lunch time, I was with Shinoa. Therefore, he was gone earlier than Shinoa…. Or Shinoa gone first because Mika didn't come home at his usual time because of work but ughh!

"Yuu, when did the last time you see him?" Sir Shinya asked me now.

"At valentines day, I invited him to play basketball. And then in morning I texted him to participate in the practise then I call to his phone and it was already out of coverage so I thought he was in the library or something so I didn't bother him anymore since I know he is busy guy."

"So both Shinoa and Mika were gone in the same day after valentines day…." He muttered lowly but I did heard it anyway, what did he mean? He rose up as he looked down to Mrs. Krul.

"Can you bring me to his room?"

"Why?"

"To look for a clue to where is he is now." Calmly he said and Mrs. Krul stood up angrily.

"SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT HE RUN AWAY FROM US?!"

"No madam, my little sister is gone missing at the same day he didn't come home." Mrs. Krul's eyes widened.

"What do you mean? That they run away together?! There is no way that Mika would do something like that, he is a good boy, he didn't have any interest to the girls." Frantically she said.

"Sir Shinya." I called out to him as I stood up. "What is really happening here? Shinoa is missing and then Mika too. Mika wouldn't do that and HELL! They didn't knew each other!" I tried to hold my composure not to shout but hell everything is a mess.

"Please madam Krul, bring me to his room. I'm not sure yet but I hope it's not." He said calmly and then Mrs. Krul nod and beckon the way.

"We already search his things for clue but we didn't found anything." She opened the door and sir Shinya went inside looking around.

"Does he have a journal or diary?" He asked.

"No, he didn't have."

And he starts to pull out some books in the shelve's as if searching for a secret button.

This can't be real right?

After a few minutes, Mrs. Krul did start helping him to find some clue. Until Sir Shinya found some scratch papers beneath the shoe rack.

"Is this a letter?" He asked

"Let me see." As Mrs. Krul take the letter from him and observed it. "I remember this, when he came to our family after one month he had someone exchanging some letters."

"To who?"

"I forgot but he said someone in the orphanage who had a family of a tribe?" And I nearly let go of the book I've been holding.

"Does it ring any bells to you Yuu?" Sir Shinya and Mrs. Krul looked at me.

"Tribe family? I think it's Akane…." Wait a minute! When Guren adopted me she did sent me some letters asking if I'm living alright with my family and we did exchange some letters and it all stop when Guren starts to give me some physical challenge to build up my stamina.

"Akane?" He asked. "Hmmnn…."

"What now?" I asked.

"Thank you madam Krul, I may have a clue now. Yuu we'll be leaving now."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry madam, we will tell you an update about Mika." And sir Shinya leave the room with a phone in his hand, looks like he'll be calling someone.

"I'm really sorry ma'am, I didn't know that Mika was gone too when I was all busy." I sincerely apologize to her.

"I believe he will not do it without a reason, and I don't believe that he run away with Mister Shinya's sister. He is gentle man and wouldn't do something so immoral. I hope he's okay and out of trouble, and if you found him please tell him that he has still a home to come back."

"Yes ma'am, I will." And she tap my shoulder as we walked to the front door.

"Yuu get in a car, I have something to discuss with your father."

"Bye Mrs. Krul." And I went inside of the car, and the engine starts and speed away.

"What are you going to tell to Guren? That Shinoa run away with someone?" I sarcastically said.

"If I say yes, what would you do?"

"Don't mess up with me! Mika is my best friend and he wouldn't do that to anyone! They never knew each other so he wouldn't do that to Shinoa!"

"Then let me guess, you tried to meet him with her but everytime you did he will find an excuse not to meet her, right?"

"Wha―" how did he know? I just looked at him annoyed.

"But still Mika wouldn't do that."

"Nine years ago, the first time they met, at the central plaza near the water fountain…"

And every words that came out to his mouth feels like an echo in the background as everything he said contrast like a reality of revelation.

W-why they didn't said anything to me?

Mika who is like a brother to me would keep something like that from me? If he told this to me as earlier I could help him everything. Is Shinoa the whole reason why he occupied his self in work? To save money for everything so that he can run away her from everyone?

"Stop the car." I silently said.

Shinya did stop the car at the roadside. I unbuckled the seat belt and opened the car's door.

"Where are you going?"

"I just want to be alone, everything you said is impossible. I-I just want to make everything comprehend slowly." I wasn't even sure what I was saying right now, it's just all is fucked up right now.

"You sure you're alright?"

"I'll be fine, I just want to be alone. That's all."

"Okay if you say so, I'll inform Guren that you wanted to be alone. Be sure don't do anything crazy."

"I'm not Mikaela." I deadpanned at him and went out of the car and closed the door. "I'll call Kimizuki to pick me up."

"Okay, goodluck." He said as he stomp the enggine and drove off.

I sigh and looked to the place where Sir Shinya drop me.

GREAT.

Super great, I'm in the central plaza. Where Mika and Shinoa first met when they were kids. Maybe I'll just take a stroll for my head to cool off.

The grass, the bench, the brick path way, the bed flower, the kids, the couples and the water fountain.

I stopped in front of it, gazing at the child statue who holds a pot in his shoulders where the water flows down, looks like he was looking down in his reflection in the water who smile gently but eyes were sad?

Ughh... this is so stressing. How come everything ended like this? I... I just want her to be happy and ughh!

I sat at the edge of the fountain as I looked around me. I remember last year what happened when I brought Shinoa to the Celestial Festival for the first time, looks like she was holding her self not to get happy about it but she resists when I offered her a cotton candy.

Then at the same place on that day, here in front of the fountain. She keeps on starring on the statue as if she was remembering something but when I asked her 'what's wrong?' she answered 'nothing' and with that she resumed in her cotton candy.

At that time, I thought she was only curious what is the statue's doing but I didn't know it was what they called having flash back. When we came home at that night, she was back at her silent self. I can say that something is troubling her and I know she's having a hard time when it comes in expressing her emotions. And all I can do is to watch only.

I even bothered Kimizuki to make some tea at the middle of the night since I don't know how to make one and I can't sleep.

"Sheesh Yuu, you need to learn how to make a tea or a coffee at least." He tiredly complaint.

"I can make one either of them, but the taste of your tea is different from what I make."

"Practice makes perfect, you're an attendant of Lady Shinoa so do it for her. A little effort makes a girl flutter her heart." And he elbowed me in the sides.

"Oh shut it." I muttered

"Goodnight, make sure you'll deliver the other cup of tea I made for your Lady." And with that, he leaves me alone in the kitchen.

And I sigh again, it's kinda late and I know she's still awake.

When I knocked on her door's room, she didn't even answer pretending to be asleep but I opened it anyway bringing the tray of tea's. The lights were still on and I put the tray in the coffee table.

"I bring you a tea." She didn't even move and I went close to her bed and tap her shoulder. She sat up and looked at me with those empty eyes.

"I just thought that maybe you couldn't sleep." I said, and she just stood up and went to her coffee table and took a sip of tea.

Here we go again in here silent treatment, and I silently accompany her at the other side of coffee table.

I looked at her simply, the way how she held the cup, how the way she sip her tea, how she closed her eyes as she savor the flavor.

That I didn't know that she was already starring at me.

"What?" She asked.

"I- uh, er." What was wrong with me?! When I couldn't come any words she glanced in the veranda. Looks like she was thinking something deep, like she was looking from afar.

"Is there any way to erase some memories in the past?" I only starred at her question, then I remember something.

The smokes, the smell of something burning then a hysterical laugh that it was closed to crying.

My mother.

I grimaced at the memory that is more like a nightmare.

I took a sip of tea to let them go away and looked to Shinoa once again.

"If there it is, then I already do that by now." And she looked back at me with a mum shock.

"Do you have some terrible memories too?" She asked with no mixture or hint of sarcasm.

It was an innocent question that was asked by a child.

"Well, I'm sure everyone did. My whole childhood is a nightmare, that's how I called it."

"But the memories I want to erase is not a nightmare you'd call it." She looked down in her lap. "And its not terrible either."

She was lost in that memory, and it keeps on replaying in her head many times to the point she wants to erase it. It must be a good memory though, it wasn't terrible or bad.

"How about stop looking back in that memory and focus what's in front of you?" And I met her eyes looking back at me. "That's what would I do if I feel lost and down." And I grin.

"What's in front of me?"

"Yes with that, surely you can move forward. And that past memory is a lesson that been learned."

"But its only you."

"Huh? Only me?" What about me? What's with me? I don't get it. I made a question face in front of her.

"Yes, only you. How can I move forward if its only you? What will you do? As we see, you're the only one around here but how can I make it if its you?"

And I immediately turned my head to the side, I didn't mean that it should be me! What I mean to looked what's in front you is that what you have right now, not whose in front of you.

Ugh, I could feel my cheeks has been reddened by that. When I try to peak at her, she was still looking at me waiting to be answer.

I cleared my throat as I looked back to her.

"Didn't I tell you that I will surely give you happiness?"

She smiled, only a bit of moment.

"…" she said something that I couldn't catch it but when I asked what is it, she already lift the cup to her lips.

And I smiled too, drinking my tea.

Hey, Shinoa if ever you were really with Mika now, did you still see me in front you? I guess not, because right now I'm not beside you; so you don't see me but Mika.

Shinoa, wherever you are I hope your safe and sound. And so for Mika. I hope both of you are alright and out of trouble.

I arrive home late at night, because I didn't call Kimizuki to pick me up, I just walk it all the way home to refreshed my mind. I went straight ahead to my room and plopped down to my bed.

When I closed my eyes, all I ever see is her.

"I'm coming in." And I heard Yoichi walking to my bed. "Yuu, you're dinner is in the kitchen and you have to sleep early because Mr Shinya arranged a schedule trip tomorrow early at 5am o'clock with you."

"Ughh" I grumbled, under my pillows.

"And I already pack your things for the trip. Um? You'll be resting now? Or you still want to eat your dinner?"

"I'll be resting, I'm tired."

" Okay, I hope you'll find Lady Shinoa tomorrow. I'll be going now."

And with that he gone off, finally all alone again. I rolled to my back, facing the ceilings.

A trip huh?

I need more sleep but someone is already nagging at me to wake up, and hell! Its even 4AM in the morning! The sun is not out yet and I have to wake up this early!

But I have to, because I have to find them and make everything go right. Running away is not the answer, but I still believed that they didn't run away just because they want to escape everything.

I sigh.

There is a reason, there must be a reason. Because if there is not, I would jump in the window.

It was a long road trip, and the atmosphere inside of the car is so chilly. Either me or Sir Shinya didn't said a word, looks like he already knows where we're going.

"So, where are we heading?"

"Somewhere around in the mountains of Sakae."

"They might be there?"

"I hope yes."

After several hours, we finally stop in front of a convenience store that's been located in the foot of forest? But Sir Shinya didn't went inside of the store, instead he went to take a look of the other car that's been parked not so far away in the store. Then he picked his phone from his pocket and dialed someone, after that he went back to me.

"Are you tired?"

"Slight."

"Good, we're going to walk from now on. The car couldn't take the forest rocky pathway."

"Huh?! But its already dark?" And I glanced to the forest entrance, its creepy.

"That's why we have our flash lights." And he throw the other flashlight at me. "Come on, its only one hour and half to walk."

"What?! We didn't take any lunch, and its past time dinner yet. We should rest and I'm already hungry." And I open my bag for food that Kimizuki prepared for this trip.

He sigh and went to the driver's seat, and I started to eat the food.

"You're not gonna eat?"

"Later, you can sleep at the back seat."

"Can you tell me a single clue where exactly are we going? Were not going mountain hiking right?" As I chew.

"Let's say we will going to a little hiking." I groan to his answer and didn't speak after that.

According to Ms Yukimi that sir Shinya's company sometimes is annoying with all his clown smile and malicious jokes but right now as I observed him, he was more serious and in hurry.

I'm also in a hurry but right now I'm hungry and tired with all these long ride in the car.

"Can you tell me more about Shinoa when she was in Guren's care?" He suddenly asked, and I stopped eating, leaving the food keeper half full.

"She's… she's being her I guess?" When Shinoa came in the state, she was like a flower that wouldn't want to bloom but as I spent time with her. She starts to open slowly, she still had her doubts but I was there to prove her that everything's gonna be alright.

"Is she improving on expressing her emotions? When I first met her, I could see in her eyes that she wants to be free. She was just a merely child back then but at her age in that time she was speaking like a thirty year old. She was a brave girl and I was worried at her those times that she might never smile genuinely from her heart. But I was wrong..." and I looked at him leaning in the driver's seat. He was smiling as if recalling some memories.

A smiling Shinoa is beautiful as the flower in full bloom. But her smile easily fade away just like a flower in wilting. Behind her inscrutable face, a crying Shinoa is being reflected.

"What is happiness sir Shinya?" This caught his attention and looked at me, even me was surprised by my own question. "I don't know what does happiness mean, but I promised her to give happiness. And with that she seems satisfied, and the days passing with her I could tell she was enjoying it. But I didn't know that I was only looking the outside and she was still broken inside, I fail her. Maybe that's the reason she run away because―"

"Its not your fault." I didn't know that I was gripping the spoon. "I tell you, no one is in fault of this but me. Not even you, not even Guren, not even Mika and not even Mahiru… but still I'm curious though." As he touch his chin, thinking something.

"What kind of happiness are you giving to my little sister?" That make me almost let go of the food keeper, almost accidentally throwing the food within but my grip strengthened.

I didn't looked at him, his usual smile plastered on his face right now.

This will be a long night.

It's early in the morning that sir Shinya woke me up, like its already 6 o'clock in the morning that we have to keep going.

"Yes, its confirmed that the car with the plate number of xxxx is here. Don't let anyone knew about this, one of my men will pick this car and deliver it to your garage. Bye." And he ended the phone call and turned around to look my way. "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go." With that, we started walking in the forest with our bag pack.

After several hours of walking that feels like forever, I couldn't see any houses but only trees and greens, and muddy ground. Ugh, maybe I should just wear with my outdoor sleepers.

"We've already walking for one hour and half." Tiredly, I said.

"Just hang in there, we're almost there. Just two more hills?"

"What? Where exactly are we going? Are you sure were taking the right way?"

"Believe me." And with that we continue the mountain hiking, the sun is piercing right above us but it was still pretty cold.

Another hours of walking, finally I can see a view of little house's that made of wood and amakan walls. Just, where the hell are we? Now, I'm hungry, exhausted and thirsty. Good thing I have another bottle of water in my bag.

"Get going Yuuichirou! We are almost there."

"I can see that." After another couple of minutes, we've finally arrive in front of the small village(?).

A man in brown robes, with three colored cloth in his forehead with those accessories in his neck, wrist, even in his ankle; welcomed us in an un-friendly manner, his eyes bore to us.

"Welcome, my friend. May I know the reason why were you here in the mountains? Our tribe don't easily welcome some outsiders, but if one of us may be a friend of yours then we will welcome you here." Grumpily he said with a stern look.

"This young lad here." As sir Shinya put her arms around me. "Is a friend of Akane Hoshino in the Hyakuya Orphanage, they both came in the same orphanage."

Akane? WaitWhat?! I looked at him with wide eyes open.

"So this is Akane's tribe?"

"Yep."

"I see, you knew Akane. Come in friends!" The man changed his way of speaking and welcomed us inside.

The small village filled with children and adults doing some farming, some others doing the pastoral of animals. They lived in harmony and peace. Their house were small made of bamboo woods and other kinds of wood. Its really a simple tribe house's.

"Before we fully welcome you here, you have to speak with our chief first about our tribe." And he lead us to a hut house, he even instructed us to remove our shoes and socks before climbing up inside.

In the center of the spacious hut house, only an altar could be seen in the room and a man in elderly age down to his knees were giving some kind of respect. After he finish, he turned around to us, sitting in the floor and acknowledged our presence.

"Sit my friend." He said, and we sat down in the floor in front of him.

"You guys were friend of Akane in the orphanage." He smiled. "Akane will be here soon."

"The last time I see her is in the orphanage, its been a long time." Sir Shinya smiled too.

"Its too sad that she ended up in a place when she still have her own family. What happened back then is an accident, she sneak up in a truck to deliver in the town of some vegetables. Then without our knowledge, she was gone missing." He recalled some memories, yup I heard that story from Akane when we were in the orphanage.

Their conversation lead smoothly talking about the tribe, how did they live their life here and some other policies as someone enter the room bringing some refreshment and offered to us.

Sure, Akane is really taking her time. Then in the corner of the house, near in the square opened window. I saw someone is peaking when our eyes meet it instantly hide away.

"Can I look outside?" I lamely excused when I interrupted their conversation.

The chief nod and continue his talking and sir Shinya is giving me a look not to make a trouble.

I mentally sigh and exited myself in the room, I put back my sock and shoes to my feet and started walking around in the house.

This place sure is peaceful and I closed my eyes as I take a breath of the nature. Then I heard a rustle of grass, still I didn't move in my place.

Shinoa

Then I heard more rustle and giggling of a child running away. I opened my eyes, shade of brown hiding behind the tree. A child laugh, pointing in the tree.

"Hahaha! He sees you." The little boy laugh and he looked to me.

"Shh! Go away!" Said the person behind the tree.

"Akane?" I called out, the voice belong to her.

"He's calling you!" The little boy teases and an arm tried swayed to him to go away revealing Akane behind the tree.

"Just go away! Don't forget what I told you to do, go!" She push the boy to go and she face me.

Akane that I knew in the orphanage was still the same ever, except our height. I'm taller than her now.

"Hi!" She meekly smiled and I smiled too. When was the last time I smile when Shinoa is gone? "Wow Yuuichirou! Look at you!"

"And look at you too!" Then in the corner of my eye, I saw someone.

No.

I walk pass to Akane and followed the little boy earlier. My eyes are deceiving me right? That I saw Mika running to the other direction where the little boy follows him. Despites of the trees and small houses, that I could still see him visibly.

"Yuu!" Akane shouted that brought me out to reality, I turned around to her gaping. She too have the same expression as me.

"Akane." I said to her and I gazed to her eyes. She knows something. "You might know that I am not here to be reunited with you but to find someone here."

"Huh? Wait a minute okay? Calm―"

I started running to the direction where Mika and the little boy gone off, when I turned round to a corner I only see more trees and grass.

Where are they? I searched with my eyes. There is a lone house in between the trees, and my feet bring me there. When I reached the place, behind the house there was something connected. When I walked through, I found a little kiosk, long table in the center then a small black board stands at the other end of the kiosk. Then in a corner I saw the little boy with Mika and Shinoa.

They were closed to each other, and Shinoa was wiping some sweats in Mika's forehead with a white towel.

She froze when our eyes meets. Time seems to go stopping. My hands curled in a fist, relief and rage I feel at the same time.

The girl I've been searching, the reason that I couldn't go to sleep at night is now in front of me with my best friend (brother) beside her.

Before I could storm in front of them, Akane suddenly stops me from behind.

"Wait Yuu!" With her brute force, she pulled me back.

She stands in front of me, facing her back to them.

My fist is itching to give Mika a punch in the face and snatch Shinoa away to him but there was Akane glaring at me if I don't calm she will beat the hell out of me.

Don't make trouble. I whispered.

I remember all what sir Shinya told me yesterday.

Everything connects like a chain how the two of them should stood side by side. And I'm just their….

I felt betrayed, that the world is laughing at me. This is a lie right?


	7. Little Travellers

Title: Liar's Roullete

Pairing: YUU x SHiNOA x MiKA

Notes: it's already one year and I'm back. My apologies! *bowing to the floor* please forgive me, sometimes life is not with me and by the meaning of life I mean the internet. You know how sucks the internet here in the philippines.

Big Notes: we have one chapter to go before the epilogue! Yaaayy! *fireworks celebration*

Chapter 7: Little Travellers

[I may not be where I want to be, but at least I'm not where I used to be.]

Holding up this feelings that can't be put in words, that can't be describe in any shapes. I've been searching for a name.

So many sad things and broken hearts could be hide behind the smiling face. Looking like a clown. Just like Shinya.

Now I finally understand why he smiles like that. He is putting a brave front not to show how it hurts inside. To be betrayed by, to be played by, to be forced by, being manipulated by higher ups.

Despites all of that, he is one of the persons I trust. He made a promise that he will take me out of here and we'll search the end of a rainbow, knowing that is a lie I still believed it. I think we both know that it will never happen.

But its not a lie. One thing for sure. He wants my freedom. He wants the good of me. In his end, he was trying his best to win Mahiru's heart, to earn the trust of the family, to free me.

In the end, nothing works out. He became the trusted right hand of big brother Kureto. Winning Mahiru's heart is impossible now that she is dead.

What's left to him? Only his smiling face. A smile that will never let you know how he feels inside. A smile that will fake everything. He is a man who deserve to be happy. Something as that is hard to obtain.

By just lying everything it will be alright, there's no need to explain, to defend. The false words. He is a liar.

A flower lives a shorter life, after the spring, summer will come. It will slowly dry the flower even if you watered it everyday. It will die when the fall comes. Same as Mahiru.

She live in a short life, she didn't wait for the fall, she died in the middle of summer. Mahiru's death is the bridge to my freedom. I met a lot of people with different faces and emotions.

Different smiling faces, that they can even found happiness in little small things.

I envy them.

Did Mahiru took along with her my happiness too? Or is it from the beginning I don't really have that? Do I deserve not to be happy when from the start my existence has been denied by my own family?

All I can say that before she died, she did all the things she wanted to happen in her life. She fulfilled all the wishes she have. Apologizing to the people she hurts. Including me.

Leaving behind a mystery of how she died. That only me who knows what really happen, why did it happen and how did it happen. But I played to be blind. Bearing all the blame all alone.

She hurts all the people around her. Shinya, Guren, the Hiiragi's and everyone who adored her.

Many people was fooled to a beauty of a flower, nobody knows what she is inside. She hurts people without knowing it. A selfish liar.

And a misery knight. Protecting the things and people that he had. But unable to protect his own happiness. He forget even his own happiness just for the fulfillment of his family.

He regret it, deep inside of him, he is suffering. But what can he do? He is a man with words. Once he made a decision he will never change it.

He wants a child, blood and flesh from a woman whom he loves. And it will be in the drawings will happen. A forever dream. He will never have his own child, he will never be with the woman he loves.

Guren knows his position, his status, his place. That someone like him will never end up with Mahiru. Leaving with no choice. He lied.

He took me in his house. To have a life what Mahiru wants me to be. Seeing the same face as Mahiru. I could see his dejection as he look at me. He is good hiding those feelings but not as good with Shinya.

Yuuichirou knows it too. But we choose not to brought it up. It will only rubbing a salt in an opened wound. And I can't.

He even forced his adopted son to be with me to make it sure that I wont end up like Mahiru. Like killing myself.

They didn't know it. Nobody knows it. And I wont be like becoming like her.

Guren may know something, but it will be forever with him. To atone it. To amend it. Nobody knows. He is also a liar.

Now that I'm outside of that cage, feels like I'm still trapped there with no way out, no way to get inside. In the gap between darkness and dawn, I'm all alone.

The only tiny promised I held inside of me, still impregnable.

I could still remember words by words. The people around.

People who stared us.

Loyal servants.

My cruel mother.

Hopeless Shinya.

And that crying boy. Who made a promised.

Will I ever see him again? Will he even take me out though that I'm already outside?

Guren gave me a comfortable room, with big size bed, many dresses to wear, coffee table and a headstrong attendant.

Feels like I was in fairytale, a solitary knight escorted me out in tower and bless me with a faithful attendant.

That attendant introduced me to a lot of things, to possible things might happened. Brought everything to my sense.

Yuuichirou.

'I'll give you happiness.'

Is what he said. I didn't believed him. All the people around me are all liars. That concludes him but he's different. He never failed me to meet my expectation. As if he always swift me off my feet. Like he was putting a spell in his words that will push me to believe again.

To believe that everything happens for a reason, that it's alright to trip and to stand up once again. He is the complete opposite of me.

Lost in words, I don't know what to say, where to start or what sort of words should I use. Flashback keeps on replaying in my mind. I want to burn the images. In a short moment of that time, I'm sure there is happiness but at the same time―

"Shinoa." Silently he said, cutting me in my thoughts. I looked up to him.

His eyes that always looking at me, always gazing at me like it was trying to see through me, to see what's inside of my world. I starred back. Figuring what is like to be in his world behind what he see's in his eyes. What is it like there? But we can't see the world in the same way.

He opened his palm at me, as if offering for me to held it. "Can I have a dance with you without a music?" And he smiled at me.

"Huh?"

"Just take my hand." By putting my hand into his, will I ever see the half of his world? I'm hesitating. Remembering a memory in the past, where someone held my hand so soft and gentle.

I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes, to erase the bad feelings. I put my hand to him and he gently gripped it as he lead me to the spacious part of the room.

Face to face. I looked up to him as he gazed down at me. His hand were bigger than mine, his other hand held me in the back. Assuring that he will never let me fall back.

We started to move slowly side by side, swaying in every direction. Our eyes locked to each other as our hands locked together. Time seems to go slowing. Remembering once again the first dance I ever had in my childhood days.

The feeling I felt in that day is the same feeling I have now. Pure happiness. Then he twirl me around, expecting to meet the boy I shared my first dance with, fearing the same thing might happen once again. But when our eyes met, it brings me back to present. That this man whom I dancing with will might open my closed world.

I let myself to smile in this moment. Because it's funny. We were dancing without any music. If anyone may saw us will think we we're crazy. But it doesn't matter. This time no one will stop us, no one will separate us.

Our little dance came to an end when he stopped. I starred in his eyes who starred back at me. Mahiru is wrong. Happiness did really exist.

He closed his eyes, and leaned down his forehead to mine. His brows, his eyelashes, the shape of his nose, his breathing that so close to me. He slowly let go of my hand, and it slides down at my hips where his other hand remained at my back. He breathed in and whispered: "You're here Shinoa, don't ever think that you're still in that cold dark place. We are now a family even if not by blood, and family stays together as a shoulder to lean on. Don't forget that."

I relaid to his words. I can't tell if it's a lie. But my heart gave way. Saying it's alright to believe again. It's true, I'm not in that place anymore. There's no need to worry. He will be there.

That's what I believed, but I'm the one who let go. Yes, I'm free like what Mahiru wants. I have my own bed, room, clothes and everything. I could go to school like what the others do. But I felt everything is the same. I want something more than freedom, like it could make my heart raced with.

Running away means not escaping. It means looking for something what I'm searching. But even myself didn't know what I'm searching for. Not even a slightest clue. Like there was something missing, that I need to fixed whats broken to make it whole or new.

"Happiness isn't something you can buy." My heart at that time did fast it's pounding, then that means I can have happiness without money.

"Then how can I have happiness?" I asked. Something I want to obtain that I'll never end up like a certain someone. After asking that, he brought me to the garden where I can feed the Koi Fish in the pond, where the flowers are free to bloom anytime they want. "Where is happiness in here Yuu?"

"I feel calm here."

Of all places, why would he brought me here? This place is beautiful but at the same time I feel sad about it. For me this place is like a prison, no matter how beautiful it seems but it can never take you out what's happening outside. I looked down at him as he lay down in the grass. He closed his eyes as if he was sleeping. I sigh. I seated in the grass beside him who were laying down.

I didn't talk. I just looked down to my lap, everything in this garden don't fascinated me. Seconds passed by, he grab me down to lay next to him. I yelp when I feel his weight, then suddenly he was in top of me. I stared up to him, to his eyes that I can see myself looking back at me. How do I look like in his eyes? Does he still see me in that prison? Or am I already freed?

My heart is beating out of control, as he starred at me. He's eyes were not looking anymore to my eyes, but somewhere down in my face. The distance of our face is getting closer at any seconds. I didn't dare to closed my eyes. I only watch him getting close to me. I couldn't hear anything, only my heart who was pounding so loud. Feels like there was something dancing in my stomach. What is it? Before I knew it, he was already beside me laying down. And my eyes remained to where it was. The Yuuichirou I see above me is now a bright blue sky.

I didn't realized that the sky would be this beautiful. My heart is still beating it fast like it drained all my strength at that moment.

"Are you alright?" I touched my chest as I heard the question, looking to the person who asked me.

"Akane." I mumbled.

"What's up? You've been spacing a lot lately. I'll hear you out." And she seated beside me in the grass floor. She grinned at me. "Did you missed everyone in your home?"

"Missed?" Is this what I'm feeling now? "I don't know."

"Then you're missing anyone. Tell me, who is it?" And she grinned even more. Sometimes I envy Akane, how can she smile a lot like that when there's no reason to be smiling. When she helped the farmers in field she was smiling, when she was teaching the kids in their homework she was smiling, when she was doing the laundry in the river with other girls, she was smiling. Even in cooking, she was smiling.

But that smile is different from Shinya, Mahiru and Guren.

Her smiles were not fake. I can tell it by watching. What's wrong? That's what I've been doing since I was in Guren's care. Defining each smile plastered in their faces. But Akane's smile were all different.

"Akane, are you happy?" I asked her out of nowhere.

"Huh?" That question caught her off guard and I simply looked away. I didn't mean to ask that.

"What are we talking about?" She asked, her eyes were still glued on me. I smiled at her, I don't know what kind of smile I put but something that Akane can tell it.

"Finally, you're opening up to me. I'm happy!" And she embraced me. Now I'm the one who caught off guard of what was happening.

"I'm happy that Shinoa is finally letting me in her boundary." Akane said to me, her arms still around me.

"Boundary?"

"Yup, because when you came here. You only talk to Mika, you were too shy to speak in anyone. Even in the kids, when Mika tells you it's alright to play with them you did play with them. Somehow I understand what kind of a person you are Shinoa." And she let go of me, patting me in the head. Smiling.

I looked at her, she see something about me that I never see it with myself. Something I've been looking for.

"We're friends now, you can tell me what's troubling you." She smiled. Friends? But how?

"I've been asking the same question." Wait? Am I opening up with her? Is it aright? I stopped, hesitating to continue.

"Shinoa, look at me in the eyes. I might not be helping you but at least you have someone other than Mika can talk too. You know there are some things that girls can talk about without letting the boys know it." She laughed.

I strained a smile at her. I really envy her, laughing at minor details.

"And?" Waiting for me to say it.

I sigh. The same question that's been asked all over again. "Where does happiness lies? How can I have it?"

She was silent when she heard that, the same reaction with Yuu when I asked him.

"Hmnn.. I'm not really sure about the answer. Its something one itself can tell where happiness lies and how to have it." And I always got the same answer like Yuuichirou.

"But for me, happiness lies to the people around me. If there are happy then I'm happy for them, simple as that. What makes me happy is by helping them with a smile. You don't have to worry what will others think of you, as long as you're happy then that's what it makes us human. If caring other people or helping them makes you happy, then that was happiness."

Caring people? Do I have some people who I cared about? For all I know I was the one being cared of.

Yuuichirou.

My heart slowed it raced.

[You wont grow tall if you don't eat.]

[Shinoa, you have to eat your lunch or you might passed out.]

[I made you some tea, uhmn actually I asked Kimizuki to made us some tea.]

[I thought you already left me and went home first, but you're still here in the art club. Let's go home together.]

[You like sketching right? I bought you a new sketchpad.]

[Isn't peaceful here?]

I looked at Akane as if my heart will sank down. I'm sure she knew how I look right now, but she just looked up the sky raising her hand as if she was trying to catch some clouds.

"It's alright if you don't have an answer; because the minute you stop trying to search for it, those answers will find you." And unexpectedly a small white butterfly lands on her pointy finger, and she smiled like a child. She brought it close to us. I watched the small butterfly who seems like searching for some comforts in her hand and it flew away. Our gazes followed to the direction where the butterfly flew.

"She is here Mika!" Daichi is in view who is running towards us. Mika is behind him following.

"Just I thought Shinoa is here with... Akane?"

I looked up to him and smiled.

"Yes!" Daichi is jumping up with his fist above. "Look Akane I found the King Beetle! Cool!" and he runs away mentioning to show it to his friends.

"That kid must be happy." Mika laughedly said. And I remembered Yuu's face when he was so very happy about passing all of his test, just like how Daichi's happy expression when he found the beetle. "Shinoa what's wrong?"

"I'm just wondering how happy Daichi is when he finally caught a King Beetle." I answered as we watch Daichi running in the fields going to his friends showing his beetle.

The sky was dyed by an orange sunset, some of the folks were going back in their little home retiring for the day, the kids were still playing. And I watch them alone from my spot, Akane went somewhere to collect some chopping woods and Mika is here beside me, we gazed together the sunset turning into an evening night sky.

We went to a lot of places before coming here with Mika. When I went back to the art club from the comfort room I found a chocolate with a small card along my pencils. I pick up the card and opened it. The first words I saw in the card was in the right bottom where the name was written in bold letters. Mika. Then I read the body of the message.

[Hello Shinoa,

I'm sorry if I don't have the courage to show myself to you. When I saw you at the school opening ceremony our distance was still the same before. I'm sure Yuu was convincing you to meet me but I can't allowed myself to see you when I still couldn't fulfilled my promise.

Meet me tomorrow at the central opened plaza where the statue fountain of a child, where we first met. I'll be waiting for you even if you don't come. This time I am confident to show myself in front of you and to make my promise what I made. I'm sorry if I take it too long, I hope it's not too late. I'll be waiting for your arrival tomorrow.

Your old friend from the past,

Mika]

After reading the card, I went outside of the club looking for someone in the hallway if the owner of this card was still walking not getting further away in the club. To my dismay there's no one in the hallway as if it was deserted because it was school hours, students were in classes and some of the teachers were in their office.

I remember that Yuu has a friend named Mika that he wanted me to meet, but every time in the meetings he wouldn't come because he have a job and sometimes he is busy studying for a test. Its not that I lose hope meeting him because ever since I was living in the house of Guren I feel like I'm still not free. Like I'm still living in the attic. After many months living under his care feels like I can't still be free from something. I even asked Yuu some complicated questions so that I will know what's missing with me.

But the thought of meeting Mika again makes my heart tight in someway that I couldn't explain. What if this card is just an illusion? But I it held to my heart, hoping it wont disappear. I went back inside of the art club sitting in my usual spot, I saw the chocolate with my pencils.

I remember when Mahiru visits me when I was still in the attic. She showed me the chocolates she got from Guren, she said that those chocolates were surely sweet as Guren. She happily ate the chocolates as she thinks of him. She said to me that if someone will gave a chocolate to anyone, the taste and flavor of the chocolate will reflect to the person's feelings who gave it.

I pick the chocolate and carefully opened the wrapper, and bite it. Just like Mahiru I ate the chocolate thinking of the young Mika in my memories. I wonder how he looks like now, does he always smile like those old days? Does he stay the same innocent child back then? Is he the same Mika as before? Is it alright to let my hopes goes up? There's nothing bad will going to happen if I'll meet him again right?

My heart broke at those thoughts, remembering the sad memories all over again. I cried, then got punished and no one came to me after that. But I'm not already standing in the same dark place anymore. The surroundings around me has changed, I met a lot of people here but it feels like everyone is just the same. Trusting them will lead to more tears and betrayal. Is it alright to hope again? A lot of questions keep on taunting back at me, can I answer them all at once? But I didn't know how to answer them.

Later on that night, I'm still up in my coffee table doing some assignments in my class. A knock on the door caught my attention, and it opened revealing Yuu with a tray in his hand.

"Just I thought you're still awake." He smiled and walked towards me, putting the tray in the table carefully not to touch my things in the table. "I brought you a coffee." And he served to me the cup of coffee beside my papers. He put aside the tray, and he settled in the other chair in front of me. "And I got you some chocolates too, mix it with the coffee to sweetened it. Or not because that's weird to do it, except from me." And he grinned.

"You're giving me chocolates from the girls who gave it to you?" Bluntly I said, and his grin fell off.

"No! Well, I gave some chocolates to Ms Sayuri and Ms Shigure from the girls who give it to me in the school but I personally I bought this pack of chocolates for you." And I can't tell if he was lying or not, before I could reach the chocolates he opened one of them and throw it in my coffee.

"Why did you do that? You're ruining Kimizuki's coffee." I glared at him. He shrugged.

"Because it's not Kimizuki's coffee." He paused. "There was a one time that Kimizuki is not around and I want a coffee to drink. Then I made my own, but it was so bitter that even how many sugar cubes I put its still bitter, then I found a chocolate inside in the fridge then I tried to make some experiment. And that's where I discovered that chocolates are good mix with coffee."

And I'm hesitant to drink the coffee that he tossed a small part of chocolate. [The taste and flavor of the chocolate will reflect to the person's feelings who gave it.] Why am I remembering Mahiru's words?

"Try it." Simply he said, excited how will I react to his coffee.

I lift the cup, bringing it closer to my lips smelling the aroma and tasting the flavored coffee.

"How was it? Is it good right?" I put down the cup, the coffee still linger in my mouth.

I smiled at him, the coffee was unexpectedly good. Even thought there's still bitterness but the sweetness of the chocolate was still there to levitate. Bitter yet sweet. "Un."

"Didn't expect that kind of answer, but I'm happy to hear it."

"I think I'm going to like it."

"Really?! Then from now on I'm going to serve you with these. Finally I'm not going to beg Kimizuki around making us coffee... Oh, but his tea are good too."

And I laughed out of nowhere, really Yuu sometimes is childish. He always giving me some un expectations, that there's nothing will gone if I try. It gave me an answer to the card that Mika left it for me. I'm not living anymore in that attic, if I'll meet him again there will be no one stands in my way.

"Thank you Yuu." Suddenly I said to him after laughing.

"For what?"

"Nothing. I just want to say thank you, not for this coffee and chocolates but for everything."

"If you want to thank, then it must be Guren― I mean my father for bringing you here."

"Guren doesn't have a choice, he was only doing Mahiru's final request to him."

"Then thank your sister." Unconsciously, I gripped at the cup hearing that. "Because if it wasn't for your sister's final request then you and I wouldn't have met, then you wouldn't have a chance to taste this coffee." He held my hand gripping at the cup, and I loosened the grip.

"The walls that surrounds you, I will slowly break them all and I'll form it a bridge." He smiled at me, reading what's on my mind.

After that little conversation, I couldn't sleep at night. My thoughts were running on Yuu had said to me, it pushes me to believe that if I'll choose to meet Mika tomorrow there's nothing going to happen. When the morning comes, I went to school first without Yuu. I went with Yoichi since he is the most punctual than Kimizuki and Yuu.

When I was at school, I'm always staying at the art club. I rarely attend my class, besides my club mate Mitsuba will tell me if there's a quiz, or test that I shouldn't missed and that will be the time I'm attending class.

On my usual spot here in the art club, I stared at the canvas imagining the happy image of Mahiru surrounds with flowers. If Mahiru is alive then she is happy taking of her baby child in her arms with-

"Hey!" Startled by that, looking to the door Yuu was there standing.

"It's just you, don't scare me like that.''

"What are you thinking? You seem deep in thoughts.'' He went towards me. I didn't answer him but instead I started to pick a pencil to draw the outline of the sketch forming in my mind.

"Don't you have practice today?''

"Yeah at nine o'clock break, and Mika isn't answering my texts. I wonder whats got into him?'' I stopped hearing Mika's name. Is Mika is already at that place waiting for me? I didn't move and decided to continue what I'm doing.

When lunch break came, Yuu came back with our lunch box. We ate in silence, but in my mind I'm debating to ask about their basketball practice if Mika did came. But I couldn't bring myself to ask, afraid of something. After the small quiet lunch, Yuu went back to class and I remained here finishing the piece. But Mika is running on my mind. Is he still at the plaza or is he not?

I don't know why but my heart is pounding, screaming at me to go. I'm starting to get nervous, what if stepping outside may lead to something bad will happen again?

[The walls that surrounds you, I will slowly break them all and I'll form it a bridge.]

I'm running with all my speed, the walls that surrounds me have already broken down, it is just me who couldn't form a bridge. Even though there's no bridge Yuu have already made it inside me. Yuu is just being Yuu and I wanted to be like him, even sometimes he is childish everyone can still accept him for what he is. I wanted to be the kind of person like him. He taught me how to smile again, he made me believe again to the things that I want to believe. He open my eyes to see the things I want to see. He extends his hands to mine to reach the things I want to touch. And now I'm on my way to do it and meet him.

"MIKA!" I shouted with what my voice left me, he stopped with his back. With my remaining strength I ran all the way to his back and stopped, my hands is in my knees supporting gasping for air.

He turned around facing me.

"Shinoa." He called out my name. I straightened up meeting his eyes, its really him.

"You're... Mika aren't... you?" I asked between my breathing.

"Hn."

"Then why you didn't approach me when we're only schoolmates, knowing that I'm going to the same school as you? I've always wanted to meet you…" I lowered my head, looking down to the ground.

"I'm sorry, nine years took me so long. When I see you at the opening ceremony I was so happy for you, remembering my promised I made to you makes me realized that I haven't done anything so I didn't approach you. I'm sorry." He held my sweaty hands from all the running and I looked up to him. He's really tall, taller than Yuu

"Now I'm here, I'm ready to fulfill that promise."

"You will?"

"Hn, where do you want to go? I'll take you everywhere you wanted."

"Right now?"

"Hn, forget everything and let's enjoy this day." And I didn't think twice, it's now or never.

All the place I mention, he really brought me there. We went to far away places, we went in a carnival, we rode in,a ferris wheel in every park we passed by. And when we are at the highest peak of the ferris wheel, I can see the entire city that Mahiru grown up to.

Mika starred back at the view, lost in thought. For some reason I found more interesting to look at him than the view outside. The Mika in my childhood memories is really a grown up now. I'm sure he knows how this world is really unfair to us. But that doesn't stop him to fulfill his promise to me. Mika shifted his face to gazed at me. He smiled, taking my hands to him.

"What's on your mind?" He asked gently.

"You."

That earned him red in his face that I didn't intended to. "What's on your mind?" I asked him back.

"You..." And that earned me a blush in my face, I looked down to our linking hands. "... and me in this moment." He stroked my knuckles with his thumb. "Someone said that this world we lived its not like a fairytale with a happy ending but even so, I want to see it with you." He knows the ending how it will turn out someday. Something I'm not prepared to face it. "I want to see that the end of the day, that you're overwhelming with happiness with someone else even if its not me."

"What is happiness with someone else even if its not you?"

He saddened a smiled as he grip my hands. "All that matters is I'm with you right now in this moment. Happiness for me is seeing you smile painted in your face. My happiness rest in your beautiful smile as you look at me."

Everything is like a dream, a dream that I'm hoping that I will never wake up. We didn't spoke up about when are we going to back, he just keep on bringing me to places that I've never seen. Zoo, small or big shrines, malls, indoor and outdoor swimming pools, museums and many more. When we get tired we only rest in the car. But the most favorite part of our trip is when we are at the local seaside at night. He parked the car not so far away from the sea, we laid down at his car's roof watching the night sky full of stars.

The evening breeze, the sound of the waves in the sea and some of the stars in the night sky were hiding behind the dark clouds. He held my hand between us, giving a soft squeeze. When I looked at him he was already looking at me with a smile.

If this is a dream, then I don't want to wake up.

"We will head to a very far away place, a place where is more beautifuler than this city. We can see a lot of stars there."

"Un. I can't wait it." Simply I said because I can't wait to see it.

It was a very long way and we have to walk all the way up in hill leaving behind Mika's car in front of a local 24/7 store. I didn't complain all the way because I know a very good scenery is waiting for us there. We walked almost half of the day, and we arrive in a small village. The sky is dyed in orange hues sunset.

"Mika!" A girl in brown hair shouted as she ran towards us. "Oh my! Look at you! You've grown taller." And she gave him a big bear hug, that Mika couldn't escape it.

"Can't breathe." Mika manage to say and she let of him smiling sheepishly. "Akane and her brute strength."

"Hey!" She pouted, finally sensing me. "You must be Shinoa? Mika told me about you, I'm Akane." Instead of a hand shake, also me got a big bear hug from her. What did Mika told to her about me? "I know both of you are tired walking up here. Let's go inside, my family prepared a small hut for you guys to rest up." She smiled dragging both of us inside the small village.

There were still kids playing in the small road, people were preparing for their family dinner for the night. From an old couple, groups of teenager and kids never failed to greet Akane then smiled to us. The people who lives here are kind, they respect each other and greet them.

We stopped in front of a small wood house. "This is the place you'll be staying, I know it's not the same in the city but it's really relaxing to lived here." She smiled entering the said house, leaving her sleepers outside of the door and climbing the three footsteps of stairs in the house. Mika copied her action and went inside leaving me behind.

This is really a new change of atmosphere for me.

"Shinoa." Mika called me from the door and just like what Akane did, I removed my shoes and went inside. Well, this house is smaller than my room in Guren's house. A small kitchen with a small table in the center, then in the left side an upper floor that shows the bedroom. There's no bed though.

"This is my brother's house, he built this just in case if we were going to have some visitor, we can offer this house for them to use."

"Im really sorry for the trouble Akane."

"No, it's alright Mika! I'm glad you decided to come here with your little sweet heart." As Akane looks at me.

"Stop teasing her."

"Well? What was it? Anyway, how was Yuuichirou?" She asked changing the topic. I froze when I heard Yuuichirou's name looking to Mika as he was already looking at me.

Mika knows that Yuuichirou is my attendant, and I already know that Yuu's friend like a brother to him is Mika. We both know about this and we didn't discuss about it. On some occasions that it made us remind about him and we talked about it. But in serious matter, I'm scared to open it up with Mika. I think both of us didn't even brought it up because we're both scared.

Mika and I stared like our eyes glued to each other that there should be something to discuss about but before he or we could say anything-

"Okay, something is going on here." Akane silently said as she watched Mika looking at me. I looked to Akane and didn't say anything.

"Akane, let's talk that about it in another time."

"No. Since we are here let's talk about it." Pulling the chair in the table and she sat down.

Sighing, Akane seems like wont change her mind. Mika pulled two chair and he sat down across to her in the table, and I seated beside him.

I couldn't say anything because everytime I want to speak my tongue wont move, in the end Mika did all the talking, explaining to Akane how we end up here. Akane is a sharp person, even a single detail Mika explained all to her. Connecting the dots to smaller to bigger how did it all began what happened nine years ago till now. When she heard about me living in the attic for all of my life, it made her teary and she cried. She was crying for me when I couldn't cry for myself.

Akane is a strange person for me. But Mika assured that it will be alright to let Akane knew about it, he smiled like he always do.

"I-I'm sorry.." Wiping her eyes with her hands, trying to smile. "I hope your stay here will be a change of pace." She reached my hand giving a soft squeeze.

"Oi Akane! Your friends are already here and you didn't let them brought some foods." An old woman came, with a pot in her hands.

"Oh yeah." She stood up "Enough with the talking, let's eat so you two can rest and tomorrow I'll introduce you to everyone." She said, walking to the old woman.

With that, we ate dinner with Akane the old woman who seems like Akane's mother welcomed us and she went back to their house. It was a very long day, we sleep in the floor in the bedroom. All of this are new to me, well sleeping in the floor is not new to me. It remind me of those days.

I remembered Akane how she cried when she heard about my past. Akane is a gentle person that's why every person in the street who passed by her will greet at her and will smile. She do the same with them. I thought she was weird but every time she was with me spending some time in the field I learned that her smiling face is different from the people around me.

Her smile is vibrant, that everything surrounds her will bloom. Painting it will beautiful palettes in the canvas, that sort kind of feelings when you're with her.

Its already two days when we came here, Mika easily adopts the place. People easily knew him and me? Probably because of my height that some of the kids wants to play with me. I played with them, running in the hills, catching some fireflies in the evening, sometimes I helped them with their homework.

"Do you like being here Shinoa?" Akane sat beside me in the field of Poppy Flowers. "You know when I feel sad about something this is were I'll hide." She breathed in, smelling the flowers or the surroundings of flowers. I looked to her, even though she's not smiling but I can still the happy smile in her face. "I mean, isn't it great to be here? The flowers, the bright wide sky, the relaxing wind." And she laid down in the grass.

"If Yuu will be here I'm sure that's what he's going to say." I looked up to the sky, remembering Yuu's goofy smile.

"Do you think everyone in your home are probably searching for you now?" She sat up as she looked at me.

I looked down to my lap by the thought of it. "I don't know. Probably Mika's family were searching on him now."

"Have you ever thought of going back for a while? Everybody knows that you can't stay here forever with Mika." Akane is such a brave person, one of her characteristics that I respect it

"I don't know." Was all the answer I have.

"It will be alright, just believed in it." She smiled. And I looked at her, smiling too.

Akane is the big opposite of me, she can express what she really felt like Mahiru. Mahiru is a liar but Akane is not.

Another day comes as we stay here in the little village. Akane brought us to the falls with 20 minutes walk from the village. Its really beautiful, the water is so very cold and clear. We swam all morning with the other kids, playing with them.

When we was about to prepare for the food we brought, someone came up running towards us.

"A-Akane... The tribe chief is looking for you." He breathed out after all the running.

"Why?"

"A message has arrived that there will be visitors of yours coming here."

"Huh?"

"Just come." The man grumbled.

"Okay." She face us. "Sorry guys, guess our little swimming here is over. We need to go back in the village."

And with that we started packing out and went back to the village and changed our wet clothes to comfortable one.

"Shinoa, can you help me with those children who have their assignments in the tutor house? I'll catch up after I meet with the chief." Akane with her puppy eyes.

"Sure."

"Thank you! Mika you help her too." Akane elbowed him as she walk away.

"Yeah." He pained. "Shinoa, I'll stop somewhere you go first."

"Where are you going?"

He suddenly look serious and got quiet. Then he smiled at me, patting my head. "I wont go far away." Leaving me alone, going to the direction where Akane went off.

That's weird. Oh well, when I went to the tutor house there's no kids in here. I just sat down in the wide stool, waiting for the other kids who didn't come with us in the falls to appear.

I didn't expected that coming here would be fun. I met a lot of different kind of people, they were kind and they have a lot of emotions to express. I envy them, they have a lot of desires, they have a lot of reasons to live on and with just that they were happy.

Is there any chance for me to be like them? Living in a simple life, like an ordinary girl living with her loving family, hanging out with her friends, helping with her classmates doing some school projects? A life like Akane had. Akane is the big opposite of me. I want to be like her, the way how she helped other people, the way how she can make them smile, the way how she treasures the people around her.

Akane is tough, she is brave something I will never be. In this adventure I had with Mika, I'm sure I learned something. The answer that I've been looking all this time is just around me. The answer will come to me that's why I decided not to hurry.

"Shinoa." I looked up and saw Mika was out of breathed, small sweats formed in his forehead.

"That was fast." I quietly said. He quickened his pace, stood in front of me.

I stood up too, looking into his blue eyes and smiled. The handkerchief in my pocket was in my hands, wiping some sweats in his face.

The answer is already in front of me.

In the corner of my eyes, I saw someone arrived. When our eyes meets, my hand stopped.

The answer has found me.

I froze at the moment, before he could storm to us Akane suddenly stops behind him.

"Yuu wait!" And she pulled him back with her force, she faced him and her back to us.

My hands in my sides were shaking, my right hand were gripping the handkerchief. I looked to Mika with a worried face, and he has the same look as I am now.

"I know there's a lot of explaining to do but you have to calm down." Akane said calmly, like she was trying to calm a wild lion. Yuu listens to her. He shut his eyes tight, loosening his curled hands.

"Just one punch Akane. One." He begged, before Akane could said anything he quickly passed her, stops in front of Mika to give his punch. I closed my eyes for the possible outcome but I didn't heard anything, when I opened my eyes. Yuu's knuckles was lightly tapped in Mika's cheek with a frown. He heaved a very long sigh, crouching down.

"Why does it have to turned out this way?" He asked like he was regretting everything. He stood up. Looking at me with those fury and disappointing eyes.

I couldn't look away, I couldn't escape his eyes. I looked back to him. Before I knew what was happening he was already embracing me with his big arms.

I don't know what's the reason, but my tears spills down from my eyes. I can't explain what I'm feeling right now, it just that in my entire life no one gives me this kind of hug. And I gently returned his embrace by locking my arms around his back.

These feelings it makes my heart go race. I don't know why but it made me happy. Did Mahiru knew these feelings? She knew it, that's for sure. All those dreamy eyes, her relaxing voice talking about her love. All of them were not lies.

Yuu broke the embrace and he looked to me. "I don't know what will happen to me if I can't see you anymore." He whispered, leaning his forehead to mine.

No one spoke, until Akane decided to speak up.

"So Yuu, how did you come here?"

"Right." He breathed in to relax, facing Akane. "I came here with sir Shinya."

Shinya is here? Before I could react Akane squealed. "Sir Shinya?! As in Mr. Guren's friend?!"

"Uh, yeah.." Yuu replied not quite really sure as he looked back at me with concern. "Your brother is here Shinoa to bring you back home. I mean Guren's home, our home." He smiled sincerely.

I glanced to Mika who only stood silently beside me, behind Yuu's back completely ignoring him.

"Wait! Sir Shinya is Shinoa's big brother?!" Akane once again squealed in excitement.

"What's all the big deal Akane?" Annoyingly Yuu glared at her for some reason.

"Shinoa, let's meet your brother. You probably missed him a lot." Akane smiling at me, and grabbed my arm away from Mika and Yuu. She paused when we're in distance from them. She faced the two with a glared. "You two should have a proper talk. I don't care if you kill each other's throat but not in front of me." And Akane completely drag me out of the place. Walking to Tribe Chief's quarters.

"Breathed Shinoa." And I let out a shaky breath that I didn't know I was holding. "Don't worry about those two dorks. They have a lot to catch and they wont be killing each other. It's the best to leave the two of them."

"I- I..." I don't know what to say. I didn't say anything, Akane seems handling these so calmly.

"Shinoa!" Shinya walked closed to us and he gave me a hug. Akane automatically gave us some space.

"Shinya." Was all I could said. I missed him. The last time I saw him was at Mahiru's burial and that gave me pang in my chest.

"How was your travel?" He let go as he gazed at me with those warm smiling eyes. "Did you find the end of the rainbow?"

I smiled at him, holding back my tears not fall down. "Un," finding the end of the rainbow takes a lot of days to search. But I know this little village is my bus stop to go back home. And this is were the end of the rainbow rests.

"I'm glad you did." He take me in his arms again, welcoming his warm gentle gesture. Did he also find the end of the rainbow? Or does he still searching for it?

"I'm glad that you did. I'm happy for you." He whispered. He's happy for me, does it count that this is also happiness?

[Happiness is something you made, that makes you satisfied, or that makes feel you happy.]

[But for me, happiness lies to the people around me. If caring other people or helping them makes me happy, then that was happiness.]

[Happiness for me is seeing you smile painted in your face. My happiness rest in your beautiful smile as you look at me.]

My adventure with Mika ends here in this small village. Mika and Yuu came to us with bruise in their faces. Akane said that's how boys talk with their fist and punch, in the end they came to understanding and forgiving each other. That's how they work out.

Shinya lightly tapped my shoulders saying we should go back to the place where everything starts.

"I know, we can't evade this but we have to face it. This time you'll have to face your family and prove to them that you don't need their rules. You're brave Shinoa, bravier than me." Shinya's encouraging words lingers in my mind. Facing my family means facing my nightmares. I'll be fine. There's Akane, Mika, Yuu, Shinya, probably Guren and somewhere far away Mahiru is in my back.

Akane gently embraced me when we have to leave in the morning. This time we wont be walking down the mountains much to Yuu's relieved, Akane asked someone to borrow their cart and horse to escort us down to the dense forest in the foot of mountain.

The whole travel back down to the mountain is much faster than walking. Akane and Daichi came with us to escort too.

"I'm gonna miss you! When will are you going to come back here?" Daichi whined out.

"Daichi, you promised not to be a brat." Akane sighed at the child's actions. He is in the verge of crying.

"We will come back here again in summer vacation." I smiled as I level his height, wiping his tears.

"You promised." He grinned and gave me a hug. I didn't know that I formed some attachment with him in a short days. I hug him back.

"Well, a promised is a promise. That's noted in the visitor's list in tribe chief's." Akane smiled at me as she gently grab Daichi with her.

She turn to face with Mika and Yuu. "And you two, make it sure that everything is gonna be alright. If you two dared to hurt Shinoa I wont think twice to go down in the mountains to beat the two of you." She threatened them with her fist. "I don't care if you two will slit each other's throat though." She laughed at them then gave the two with a big bear hug.

I saw Yuu stiffened at the contact and made a scowl face. "Akane and her brute force." He mumbled.

"I'm gonna miss you too." Akane smirk at him with glint.

"Thank you for everything about this Akane." This time Mika decided to spoke up.

"You know I'm always here. The anchor of any storms."

"It's time to go." Shinya silently spoke. "I'm sorry but we have to parted ways." He walks where Akane stands between Yuu and Mika. "You sure did the anchor of this storm. I thank you for that. You grown up as a beautiful and kind hearted woman Akane."

Akane's blushing by Shinya's words. Yuu groaned at the sight. "Don't fall for him Akane, he might be a good looking to you but believe me he is a masochists."

She elbowed him to the sides, completely ignoring him as he groaned in pain. This is another side of Akane I'm seeing. She is obviously blushing in front of Shinya. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

WaitWhat! I looked to my brother then to Akane.

"Are you out of your mind?" Yuu reacted, then Mika sighed at this.

"Aren't you overacting Yuu? Since we were kids Akane is always drooling whenever sir Shinya is around." That earned him a punch by Akane and glared at him.

Shinya just laughed out, as he went to my side. "Let's go."

"Akane I'm watching you not to fall this old man." Yuu remarked her.

"Too late Yuu." Mika whispered.

"Bleehh!" Akane stuck her tongue out at them.

They really looked like siblings. I envy them to the bonds they have.

"Take care!" With that, we finally leaved.

In this journey I have, I met a lot of different people, I discovered a lot of experiences and I learned a lot of things. My memories in the small village where Akane lived, meant a lot to me. I always thought that this world is full of lies but it proved to me that despites of all this, there's a small part in this world that can be genuine as that small village.

The people lived in a harmony, their helping to each other, and with simple as that they were happy. I'm very looking forward in coming back there.


End file.
